Trifle bit Trifled

2012-01-06T00:19:00.000-08:00

to

you never know if that fat kid you're bullying will be the one who will bully your heart when he grows up~~.

2012-01-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

Seeing that it's my last weekday rest before 5+ months of tiresome school starts lolling ahead like the head of a zombie, well me more like it. These past few weeks in December has been blissful, although quarrels with my dad practically on a daily basis was a O.K price to pay for enjoying my book luck at the library and subsequently devouring book after book. Book luck, that's necessary i feel. It's been long time coming since i've enjoyed reading without the conscious need to analyze the subtext, verbatim,incongruous notions etc... The coming monday will mark the end of my solace. Nevertheless, the thought of learning another new language; Korean, is like a ray of sunlight in that heartbreaking gloom. Ok, it's not that bad, at least i'm going to be in almost all the same class as my good friend, and with the need to start improving my grades (one that i should,no,will prioritize over the analysis of the lecture/class/discussion drowning in boredom or not...sigh,i think that's called maturity).

Anyway, i decided to blogged in so many months because a number of things were on my mind, though i've already let out one. I've come to realized with my own eyes that young girls are seriously naive and annoying, well not generally but let me scrutinized the category further. Those who are in secondary school, who are in a relationship (regardless if their boyfriends are of the same age or older than them), and who are obviously reluctant to be 'intimate' with their boyfriends but succumb to it anyway. If you happen to be a young, pretty little naive girl and that's your situation now, O.M.G BREAK UP BI-,i mean. SILLY THING. A very, annoyingly good example was that day on the bus when i was sitting on the upper deck of a double decker bus with my mum, and this atrocious secondary school couple was being extremely annoying.

At the point of time, i have to interject to defend myself (although imho there really is no need, i mean hello,PREGNANCY,ABORTION,DEPRESSION,WORTHLESS BOYFRIEND are words that say.it.all.) firstly, not that i've been through it *touch wood*and know the pitfalls i'm just giving my angry two cents worth. Secondly, for the prevention of unwanted babies. Thirdly, prevention of being just a 'play thing' to a horny teen...although this Brazilian model is really cute..PREGNANCY,ABORTION,DEPRESSION,WORTHLESS BOYFRIEND

PREGNANCY,ABORTION,DEPRESSION,WORTHLESS BOYFRIEND,CONTEMPLATION OF SUICIDE,END OF LIFE it isn't worth it~. You can ogle, but don't...snog-gle? UNLESS THE BRAZILIAN MODEL BECOMES YOUR HUSBAND THAT IS.

Back to the matter on hand, the couple behind my mum and I were apparently a young couple cause they were freaking wearing their school uniform: Tanglin Secondary School. And were making so much noises, i kept glaring back at them. Had the right to, it's a public place and they were even wearing their uniform. Brazen much? Horny much? I mean the guy, that young boy, was horny. OMG he kept stuffing his face to the poor, innocent, bespectacled girl who was nevertheless, dumb because despite her whiny deterrence..which was as effective as stopping North Korea's nuclear development, did nothing to stop Horny Boy. Nom Nom Nom Nom, he went at her face. Their noises were so loud, puh-leeze. And, ok, i kept throwing dirty looks at them,well, guess what it didn't work. The supreme abilities of hormonal rage. When the boy got off the bus, i duly began my one-sided conversation with my mum about o'levels being 'incredibly important', but if one might not do well if one was pregnant and had to be rushed to deliver a baby. But it would be alright because one 'could give birth to not only 1 but 20 over children anyway'. I didn't know if she got the message through, but i hope she did. Can't young lil' things learn to assert their opinion with guys..are females meant to be subjugated my males? Blatantly oppressed as things for their satisfaction? I believe it isn't entirely true. Yet, despite woman's progression in society, posters of 'hot' female celebrities/models seem to dictate otherwise.

Ultimately, i think a human being shouldn't take advantage of another no matter physically, emotionally and regardless of the relationships;lesbian,gay and the types of relationships...

2011-11-25T06:49:00.001-08:00

Argument: Using the Computer for 'Too Long', and That It Has Been Used to Watch BB Videos

My stand is obviously that i have not, and my reasons are as such
1) i've only used it for 2 hrs today.
2) i was not watching big bang stuff, in fact i was watching a movie on funshion.
3) my exams ended on thursday,given that i have not 'hogged' the computer for the entire duration of my exam preparation except for the fact that i have used it for at the maximum time 30 mins. It's only the next freaking day after the end of exams that i've started using it the comp for more than an hour.

Counter-arguments:
Given that my dearest sister has sabotaged me in the usage of the comp from my father with the accuation of 'Using the Computer for 'Too Long', and That It Has Been Used to Watch BB Videos'
With the argument of the duration of comp usage, assuming that the duration of comp usage were on the days of my exam prep in addition to my day's usage on this very day, before 3pm. Also, with the assumption that 'Too Long' means more than 2 hours.
1)If my 2hr of comp usage is 'Too Long', your usage of it from 8-11am on friday morning, wasn't 'Too Long'?
2)my usage today was to watch a movie that had absolutely, irrevocably not about big bang, it is not that i am defensive but it is the truth and 'nothing but the truth', what more your blatant statement that my purpose of using the computer was all for watching bb vids, what more that the usage was 'Too Long'. (Refer to argument 1)

I think it is 'pleasant' that you assert your judgment as such, and that you may bring up points of my faults on that same action,that i have missed in your defense but that statement of yours is a sweeping statement and your accusation that would have sabotaged me was stupid as well as futile.

2011-09-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

as i grow older i kinda abashedly admit that i further crave being hand-held,spoon-fed, even force-fed so long as i know i'm fed the right food and i'll be fine in the end. I think that's the way it works, this small but growing seed of thought/desire to want to be hand-held until the point when you get older,as in to have genuinely aged, do you (might or might not) revert to child-like ways of which you become senile, and hopefully have loved ones to hand hold you all the way till you come one full circle from birth.

i don't know if i lack the discipline or i'm such a buddhist-hipster (lemme explain later.) nothing really really REALLY matters. Or maybe i'm just in such a sloth-like condition JUST right now, but hey my fingers are moving, i'm not in too much a mood to care about anything except to talk about my feelings. Which reminds me of my almost non-existential cycle, omg was it the testosterone that surfaced (when the Victoria's Secret Show advertorial flashed across the tv on channel 5 ) overpowerd my estrogen. Omg I CAN DATE VS ANGELS NOW WITH NO PREJUDICES FROM SOCIETY~~.

kidding. Ok, this post was inspired by _ _ _ life. Afraid to type the short form of the classification of the insituition i'm in now cause i might be called a baby. Which honestly,i feel like being one now. All you have to worry about is milk time, worrying about your soiled bum, when your next new soft toy is going to come. I mean, going to arrive into your arms.

Literature is making me crazy; I-don't-know-what-on-earth-you're-talking-about Crazy and Symbolic-Crazy and a million other crazies which would soon com- arrive in my head if i can chase after my readings omg. I read somewhere, or was it during lecture, how this famous literary male figure (FLMF)was laughed at by his juniors/employees for smoking a cigarette, because (NEWS FLASH,was to me then at least) a cigarette was/is a phallic symbol so FLMF was like giving a ...so he replied ' a cigarette is (sometimes)just a cigarette' i bracketted 'sometimes' cause i'm not too sure if he said that.

ok, so sometimes i have this identity crisis with my believes, alright so i have perfect understanding regarding the value of compassion...admitedly my discipline in practicing Compassion falls short most of the time when i get angry with my sister but thankfully now she's the BIGGER person,HAHAHA psycho pun and laughter with 'Bigger', who apologises first in her fast apologetic speech which she has mastered after recent bickerings..'i'm sorry pls forgive me so i can be a better person..' and other shock-worthy vocabulary until i shock her back (this evening) when i said 'i'm sorry i wrote in your school book'. In my fit of psychotic abnormal-hormonal rage, i wrot- scrawled in her book (just ONE clean page) why i was angry with her the crzy itch.

I figured that i've lost my steam to elaborate on not so much the values but the advice to live by. But..i'll just give a quick example off the top of my head, so i kinda have this drilled into my head by my fanatic watching of Journey to the West (my qualifier: 'fanatic' is not so much the fanatical watching of each episodes non-stop but rather the intent attention fixed on the episode that i chance upon on tv.)'Form is voidness, voidness is form'. So it's like form is nothing, voidness is nothing so nothing is nothing, nothing is nothing. And how Attachment is Suffering (true in all instances,discover it yourself) but if you let go of all Attachment, my attachement to goals etc,sure it is extraoridinarily liberating because one is free of one's mortal worries, on the other hand, the consequence (not so much in a negative light, depending on one's stance) would be for one to spend the remaining of one's life in a monastry where one's mortal worries i.e clothes, food, family, money would not surface but rather the accumulation of good merit (beneficial to oneself as well as others) would/could be one's priority. Which is not selfish at all,because to reap good merit for oneself one has to do good deeds that would benefit others too.

guess i made more steam.
gahs,i think i have a lot more to learn. Right now i just pray that everything goes ok hereone, i mean i have come thus far to where i am today, no doubt not a great feat but oh my goodness...years of painful math, I STILL HATE YOU TRIGO. BURN IN -, FINALLY OVER. CAN YOU HEAR ME SALVA BY LIBERIA PLAYING? Go youtube it!!

Linking back to my previous post in july, i survived Sports Camp but goodness knows how i almost died/force myself to kinda die. It was crazy;insufficient sleep for the entire 7 days, horny penalties and games (damn did i play those games seriously cause hel-lo penalties were even worse)

2011-07-24T22:34:00.001-07:00

In 25 mins i'll be leaving the comfort of my house to be thrust out into the humid,sweaty embrace of the..sports camp activities.

I just want to let my loved ones know that i love them, and that no matter what happens they'll always be in my heart. I want to say a big thank you to all my awesome friends, those whom i've met up with in these 2 months. Couldn't have gone through all the grueling academic stuff without you guys!! I miss Charmaine.:( I hope she is well and will be for the rest of her life.:(

If this was going to be my last meal i wouldn't have chose cold sushi but..oh well, that's just my subconsciousness comforting me that all is not lost and my (damn hearty) last meal will be when i'm 99 or who knows, perhaps 120, or something.

I know i'm pretty much a drama mama, but then i can't help it sincei'll be studying literature..and this is just mild compared to the time i came home after swimming 48 laps( that's 24 official-olympic laps, all for the sake of my survival in this up-coming harsh,harsh camp) so i greeted my mum but she ignored me. I headed back to my room and the thought struck me, in all seriousness: Could I be dead? That's why mum couldn't hear me and thus didn't respond???????? Thankfully, not long after my mum came into my room to talked to me,so i kinda felt relief FIRST, before i felt silly. hur hur.

till then, pray for my survival. Pray that i will THRIVEEEEE!!

toodulu

GUMMY "LOVE RECIPE" M/V [HD]

2011-07-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

gummy's voice is amazing and like what one youtuber commented, i love it how it's about a cute labrador(a golden retriever would totally make my cry :')) rather than a man. I had to choke back tears the first time i watched it at work. I have such a soft spot for the special relationship shared between owner and dog.:') Ironically,i have never had a dog for a pet. ARGH. Sigh, i think the mv is so touching..and i think it's about the love for her dog. Ok a tiny, tiny part of me thinks and tries to argue otherwise, which is pretty sick..but whatever OMG i do not want to ruin this mv. I want to watch this mv a milion times and get the same :'') feeling, much like happy-sad-happy tears.

Since i've stop this blogging drought temporarily I might as well continue a little bit more. I will be attending a orientation camp and maan,it's back to making new friends. Not that it's much of a chore, definitely not, although we do kid around on the number of times we have to introduce ourselves if we are going for more than 1 camp plus the official orientation week. My mum has given me this more-solemn-than-necessary pep talk on what to wear to school and more importantly what not to wear. She warned me not to wear shorts and slippers cause it's so sloppy and one should have some self-respect. Uhm. Then my cousin added without spite but with quite an amused grin that some people come to lecture looking like they are going to run off LATER. As in i guess the most comfortable attire; t-shirt and sports shorts. I don't know maan, shan't judge others when i don't know whether i'll succumb to the temptation of 'sloppy wear'. *cue screams of murder* idk idk. But i think for the first month everybody will wear nicely at the very least, i think?

For one i know i'm one of the least consistent person that i know off. Least consistent in the sense of..outer appearance i guess? I don't know if it's a good thing or bad, i guess it really depends on what you think is right. As in some people might think makeup is bad so one shouldn't put it on at all while others think if it enhances your looks then why not right? I admit my mindset is the latter but my limbs do not think so..sometimes i'm so lazy i don't put anything at all, but then again that depends on where i'm heading out. Hmm I think the environment, place and the frequency of my visits to the place really defines my 'consistency'. An example would be during my internship for the 8 weeks there i made sure i had something on, like at the very least i would fill in my brows.(because my eyebrows are totally folically-challenged , thanks to mum's genes.:P) Ok but i think there were only one or two days when i was totally bare faced, and even then i had on lens-free specs to cover my face. One thing i love about that place was how individualistic you can be, and the creativity you are allowed to bask in. :) Plus this subtle pressure on 'style' that i felt. Idk if it was just my mindset on the industry or what but i had fun no doubt.

Now that i'm working at a tuition centre, i'm utterly free and un-pressured to make up and barely 3 weeks i've already switched back to my good ol' specs. Hmm. Coming back to the idea of dressing up for school, i think it'll have to depend on the environment. Idk. Maybe it's my subconcious excuse which i have now conciously realized. OTOKE?

Oh yeah my sister is having a cold war with me cause i called her a liar. Wheeeeee we are 7 year oldsss!!! x)) why must lie when you like t_ _ c_ _ _ _e? I think she's trying to break her cold war record.

2011-06-15T06:02:00.001-07:00

I feel so embarrased!!

last day on internship!

2011-06-10T09:18:00.001-07:00

Today's the last day of my internship at the modeling agency!

I can't help but start with the cliche stuff,but time past so fast,but here's to making more money in the remaining days towards uni life.

I'm still feeling so full from the korean bbq dinner celebration in lieu of two of my colleagues' birthdays. I love how CMI people are so close-knitted. I guess it's largely due to the fact that they are always so liberal and jovial about so many sexy things. xP I will be missing their wit and crazy humour,the gawking at unattainable bodies of models,the making of new French Vogue-cover-worthy-body+face friends from all around the world;Russia,Japan,China,Korean,Sweden etc and the guilty and sinful satisfaction of rejecting/listening to my colleagues b*tching about skinny models being fat. Which is exactly what my manager told me during my interview that the fashion industy is a cut-throat one,although he didn't say in what way it was harsh,i learnt that no matter how pretty one is so long as one isn't 175cm tall,an automatic rejection of being a model is 98%. Another thing that i think is 'harsh' is that there are so many kinds of skinny. Skinny being no visible excess fat anywhere/skinny based on the majority to skinny being you-can-count-at-least-3-of-my-ribs skinny. Needless to say, the harsh reality is the former definition of skinny is more encourage although no-visible-fat-skinny is satisfactory. I am sure there are also other harsh aspects of the industry that i have yet to experience. Fortunately or unfortunately?

And then in the past two consecutive days, i had my first experience of taking pictures of half-naked male models.(2 only.luckily.) omg. I have to grow up. Although i am a long way from being a professional fashion photographer, i totally nailed the last shooting of snaps for the last male model. Totally calm with great acting like as if i've done this way so many times with hotter bods. The best thought to have in your mind when you do so is the consistent repetition of 'i am a lesbian'. Works like a charm to control those hormones.

On the bright side of this goodbye, i am looking forward to earning more money and having more time for myself including time to sleep 8 hours everyday.:))))

In the meantime,i'm going to nurse my sore throat and enjoy Me Time.

Insomnia,Uh Oh~~.

2011-04-28T16:01:00.001-07:00

I SAY,INSOMNIA IS A BITCH THAT NEVER SLEEPS.

I slept for 2 hours last night,so i'm not the manifestation of insomnia in human bitch form. Bearing in mind that this blog is open,i'm just going to try and mince my words. Firstly, the first video is plain awesome,given that the song was on the international billboard chart?! Secondly,i don't really hate the female lead in the video but neither do i love her. I admit that she's really pretty and has this uncanny resemblance to Jenny doll.(compliment) I show you pic! (of Jenny doll first..)

THEN the AWESOME VIDEO.

She first rears her head,ok,she shows her perfectly tousled chestnut brown hair in 0:46. Clearer Jenny Doll look of her is at 1:33. SHE LOOKS LIKE JENNY DOLL INNIT?!
Anyway,said pretty girl is a mixed blood,19 years of age in year 2011. She has her share of VIP haters,confirm,since she pranced around and filmed a freaking BB music video with the BB members?! I can't decided if i love or hate her,seriously. ARGHSWOON.

OKOKOKO,THEN THE NEXT VIDEO.

YEAH,B*TCH SPEAKS PERFECT CHINESE TOO. Just kidding,about the bitch part,she's not la...but strictly speaking, it depends on my mood. Hur. Without her pretty face,i would have thought the video was for those CNY china karaoke dvds? But the chi version is DEFINITELY BETTER than the eng version,in my opinion. At least the chi ver sounds intelligent. There were some characters that,being a pure chinese..,i didn't quite know. Like,some phrases were at the Higher Mother Tongue pedestal you know?

NEXT VIDEO.

she appears in 0:42. WHAT SHE DID AT 1:07 IS CRAZY HILARIOUS! She's damn gorgeous in that vid!! And her sense of humor is kinda endearing! Based on my observations after watching her videos on youtube, she has this tendency to show her ample (maybe with some help.)boobage, that rhymes and looks like the word cabbage. I just had to write that down.. As i was saying,i don't know if it's the American culture to show your ample assets after you hit puberty or something,i mean my paternal cousin was once educated in a American School and boy did she went down that road,or longkang or valley or cleavage you dumb blonde. But i love her all the same! I digress. So,what do you think of Chloe? Uh oh~~~~~~.

bad @s*

2011-04-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so Bad @S* cause
1) i'm 2 hours past my bed time. At least 2 hours past the borderline-screaming of threats and angsty rants of how irresponsible and lacking in self-respect yours truly is. AND IF MY DAD CATCHES ME HERE. I'M.SOOO.DEAD. Sometimes i just can't believe i've turned 19. Aren't i age 9?!?!?

2)i explored little india on my own. There's nothing too bad @S* though,honestly, just that i guess i didn't get lost and i bought Bad @s* damn cheap cosmetics made in China but sold in little india of which i'm going to use and pray that nothing's going to happen to me touchwood. Oh yeah, and i popped into a shop that kind of resembled what i could remember of Mustafa..so

(/edit)at this point of time,the previous paragraphs were written 2 days ago to be exact,the reason for the abrupt end was solely due to my father's presence. I heard him waking up; his footsteps,the creaking of the toilet door, and my modus operandi was to switch off everything as quietly as i could and to scamper to bed regardless if i had brushed my teeth or not. Miraculously, i succeeded in completing everything AND on top of that managed to protect my teeth from cavities for the night while dad was in the bathroom. How exciting!

Anyway, i have been meeting up with old friends and i always feel so blessed to have such awesome friends i can count on. Finally caught up with yc who has been leading the jet-setting life!! Oh and i didn't know there were so many intricacies of NS, ugh, like
1)School 4 in Tekong is the most haunted.
2)You shouldn't bring Johnson's baby body wash, like DO YOU WANT TO BE MOCKED AND OSTRACISED?
3) Watching Bad Girls Club Season 5(most recommended) and seasons 1 to 6 would be good mental training ground for self-defence and assaults.
4)Jaguar company is exactly like how it sounds,totaly WILD badass cats. They don't meow they go REAAOOOW.

pointers 2 and 3 were recommended by jeremy, who is going to RUN TEKONG like how Lea ran L.A,b*aatch. I had such a fun time listening to yc's ghost stories about NS. Moral of most stories would be to bring an amulet to Tekong.I'm kinda glad that i'm not a male in Singapore. OMG I'VE BEEN IN BEAST MODE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS AS I BUST CALORIES LIKE A NS MAN,CAN YOU HEAR ME BE THE NEXT IN LINE TO RUN TEKONG?(AFTER JEREMY,RESIDENT TEKONG BITCH,OF COURSE.)OKOKOKO,SO ON TUES,I BUSTED 551 CALORIES,AFTER A 7.39KM BRISKWALK +JOG, UNDER 65MIN. YESTERDAY, I BUSTED 700 CALS AFTER A 8.65KM UNDER 72.05MIN.

Recently, i've been looking for jobs...although i've been gunning for a job that would pay well for a 19 year old,$1k and above, in a change of events,i think,no,i'll be starting this internship (on my own accord) at Cxxxx Models Int. next week. The pay is way under my initial expectations for other jobs,but duh i'm under an internship and i'm excited for it!! Especially hearing that Tao Okamoto, is going to be brought in my C Models!!! 'Teen Vogue called her a "rising star" in September 2009,[1] and featured her as "Girl of the Moment" in its December/January 2010 issue. Vogue Japan dedicated its November 2009 magazine cover and all of the magazines editorials to her, noting her as a supermodel-in-rising. She has appeared in advertising campaigns for Ralph Lauren, Benetton, HM, GAP, Zac Posen, Kenneth Cole, and Uniqlo Heattech. She has appeared in editorials for Allure, Harper's Bazaar, V magazine, and Chinese, Japanese, French, American, and Russian Vogue.[1]' excerpt from wikipedia.
And hearing that the industry is '..bitchy and cut-throat',idk,it feels exciting!! THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE INTERVIEW WAS WHEN.. so i was kinda taken aback by this part of the interview slip thingy where they asked me for my hobbies, so i wrote 'reading,swimming,reading VOGUE magazines/other fashion magazines' i wanted badly to get brownie points laa,apparently and they saw through it,hahaha. Anyway,so the interviewee read my hobbies out loud and since the interview was conducted right smack in the middle of the office with only a thin make-shift partition hiding the people working at the office area, PEOPLE BURST OUT LAUGHING?! hur hur..

I wasn't being sensitive at all,cause their reaction was immediate after that bit was read aloud and jer can vouch for that. OHH and we witness this mini-casting of this i assume to be, Aussie National Swimmer, which i think zq would totally like.
Moving forward, (weird choice of conjunctions..ik,i'm back to becoming awkward at writing!!! OMO!) i might be speaking to Russian models and other models/people of other nationalities,but the interviewee mentioned Russian models in particular,sooo i think i'm going to pick up a few Russian words? i cannot wait to get backstage passes,accompany models for go-see(?),speaking Russian?? That's like learning to become a chinese/japanese spy?! LOL. It's The Wind-up Bird Chronicle's influence!! Getting side-tracked by old WWII ,or was it WWI, stories! i'm kind of afraid of the bitchy-ness,but..i hope it's only prominent between clients and industry rivals rather than intra company?

On a ENTIRELY different note, i cannot agree more with Sir Ken Robinson. What he says in his speech is true,i mean you can see/have seen those scenarios unfolding right in front of your eyes. I don't know if it spurs me deters me from being an educator. Although being a literature professor in a university would be a dream come true when i day-dream about it.Funnily enough, i decided to watch this video after finishing watching a big bang interview video. Hey,music is art which is creativity!

ok,gonna BEAST MODE later again. Hope everyone is having a great day..and remember to count your blessings even in the smallest ways; like having the eyesight to read.

toodulu

2011-04-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

I love good company and good conversations when there is no farce and pretense but only the ease of voicing out one's thoughts,the comfortable bouts of silence and the hearty chuckles.

My Birthday

2011-04-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

ok,so the title feels like i'm such a baby/spoilt brat,bragging about MY BIRTHDAY. But i felt like i ought to honestly thank the people around me who had given their well wishes and basically, for reminding me that i'm so loved.:) Never a bad thing in this wicked,wicked world. *dramatic flailing of arms*

Plans for the 31st of March with Charmaine got canceled through sleep crusted eyes, cause some'unforeseen circumstances' cropped up,and i was too sleep induced to throw a hissy fit,for the both of us,since it was going to be celebration for both of our birthdays. Anyway,i didn't throw a hissy fit because,duh i've,like neverrr been one to like,do so? Soo, i spend the first 5 waking hours of my day, glued to the computer screen laughing my butt off ,with the whole house to myself, whilst watching Family Outing; korean variety show. Then, after that i met my cousins for dinner in town to celebrate one of MY COUSIN'S 'BIRTHDAY',well since both of them insisted on treating me to someplace exotic and expensive, to the point where the argument got emphasized that my cousin ling declared that it was her 'birthday' and how she got her pay today etc. Yet again, i lost to their 2 vs 1, 'atas people' vs humble peasant-girl,yours truly. I insisted Din Tai Fung, but Atas People deemed eating at Din Tai Fung a occurrence that can happen everyday upon any whim, as it was not special....
In the end, we ended up at Wild Honey, an indie, let's-break-the-rules-with-All-Day Breakfast-place. The company was awesome, to say the least, but the prices were 'awesome' too? I think i'll only recommend that place if you have too much dough to blow,then you can afford the expensive sandwiches there. (i made a lousy pun somewhere in the sentence btw.hur hur.) Followed by vogue-inspired camwhoring (cue wince at that word) that somehow got degraded into,let's just say my cousin's creative chinese poem aptly described how some of the pictures turned out;' 买一送一,买二送炸鸡' Had me practically rolling around the floor laughing at Mandarin Orchard.

Also, i just met up with green cheens this evening for a mini celebration of my birthday. Almost pai-sehed to the point of no return cause i had to accept their generous gifts (deyi's generous gift was fit for a generous portion. heyheyhey,another pun~). Hanyan treated me to dinner with great insistence and thoughtfulness and with anecdotes of her spending sprees recently. Before deyi gave me his present, i was kinda scared when he confirmed with me if i was 'fang'(liberal in chinese) or not. I asked if,the horror of all horrors he got like 'feminine stuff' for me, luckily he said no then swiftly whipped out this green box. It was cellulite cream. Which i liked. Um,prevention is better than cure they always say. Not like i have cellulite. No. NOOOO. Well,but i've read that every woman will get cellulite no matter if you're the fittest,tonest person on the entire planet earth. Even supermodels get them on the butt or sth when they get older. Oh well,total perks of being a female.

Alright,i'm going to make use of my father's absence in Singapore to freaking use funshion like mad tonight,ok,no this morning. WORK STARTS AT 2pm tomorrow~~~. WOOHOOHOO!

Trade

2011-03-29T09:19:00.001-07:00

I just finished watching this movie Trade on funshion. I had no idea who downloaded it or how it was on the playlist since my dad didn't dld it and neither had I,given that it's only the both of us who utilize funshion, it's really weird how it landed up there.

Anyway, about Trade
http://www.movie-roulette.com/movie/trade

It was a really heart-wrenching,jaw-clenching,knuckle-whitening( i made this up) kinda movie. And i think it is really enlightening. It really shows you the many facades of the characters and the many Grey areas that are actually present; like how the vicious, disgusting perpetrators actually also have a life that seems to be socially acceptable. It's quite unbelievable and amazing at the same time. WATCH IT.

it's 1.29

2011-03-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

I ought to start making a graph to record the average time my dad wakes up in the middle of his sleep to relieve himself whereupon i would start a mad scramble of clicking the little x'es on the windows and simultaneously trying to calm myself,pray that everything can be switched off on time so that i may ultimately,make a clean getaway into the covers of my blanket. But that is if i am so lucky to get away with all that drama.

My application for the universities are i daresay,85% done. Total whirlwind of stress,panic attacks. maniac-tic flipping of plastic folders and A4 documents in both my secondary school's and junior college's document folder. Application fees have been paid. I just have to check my application status,submit documents to SMU,but before that wait for the collection for my edited testimonial from PJC,(which kinda gets my stomach into knots cause the deadline of 1st April isn't the slightest bit far away.)then making a trip down after work to submit the necessary documents.

When i think about what i intend to study, based strictly on my 'passion' and really,nothing else,i feel conflicted. I can see the differing perspectives be it the practicality of it as well as the opinions held by others, my career options, the course of study, the fellow course mates who will be taking the same road as i would be, the impending inadequacies that i feel about my aptitude towards the course of study etc. And i eventually remind myself that the life changing decision/discussions can't even be made without any news from the universities,yet. Yet, i do feel the urge to analyze and weigh everything that.. i guess provides me with a sense of comfort against this period of time where i feel kinda lost and helpless.

It's nearing 2 in the morning, and my gut feeling tells me my dad's going to wake up soon.

2011-03-27T08:02:00.001-07:00

omg,i used to be so much more positive years ago.

Anw, Poker Face Bei Ying thought me how to checked my blog's stats,and some freak on earth got directed to my blog with search words for 'sexy mums and BIG BOOBS'
HUUUUUHHH? Wanted to reference something about males doing national service,but decided against doing so.
Even my most 'explicit' post is on Victoria's Secret Angels,i didn't even put pictorials of Sports Illustrated models..who are like..

Anw,i also found out how bbgirlguides had viewed my blog,hello fellow girl guider/teacher-in-charge (*gulp*). Have a good day! Hmm,BE PREPARED. I SHALL~~.kthxbye!!

isn't that queer?

2011-03-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

I realize that one thing i can't stand is when people compare among themselves. That's not the main thing that irks me but rather,you knowing that they are comparing to make themselves better and to make you feel smaller while i don't think they realize your knowledge of their intention.

There are variations of comparisons,such as you know how sometimes you get into 'Life(or another variable) Sucks' mode with your friend and therein begins a comparison/bitching session of whose life sucks to a larger extent.

But there is another comparison that makes you wonder why the other person does so? And when the comparison that one is making is so obvious that the person asking would be the 'winner',there is a hidden intention involved? If you think you are tall enough,and the person is evidently shorter and stouter,why would you want to ask 'Let's compare the length of our legs?'

I think one thing is getting the supposed 'act of goodwill' across,if that is what one wanted to help improve one's friend. Maybe in the above case to ask the shorter and stouter person to go for leg extension or something?(just an example) Since modern society is made up of humans who make instinctive judgments of Beauty(but i do acknowledge that 'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder too'),in the superficial plastic sense,(that's why there was once this hype on interviewees sending their air-brushed pictures to their employers because it indeed does create a better impression)and so the 'act of goodwill' in the scenario,in all positive sense of the word,would be to help the friend to be more accepted in this superficial society;that is fortunately not entirely devoid of the essence of human compassion.(i.e Televised charity shows to raise funds in Singapore have been enthusiastically supported by Singaporeans.Hallelujah.).

The other underlying intention of the 'act of goodwill' is actually no goodwill intended but rather,to mock and to allow the other party to recognize the fact that the other party fails in the comparison of the physical attribute(the variable). Therefore, the 'kind' person establishes a more superior likable-position in society aka is hotter/more attractive. What is infinitely worse is when the 'loser' realizes what the 'winner' is trying to do.

Sadly,i think these kind of comparisons are made/have been made just goes to show the way society is in. It contemplates and judges. Thus,i think that's why it is up to individual to acknowledge and react in a proper manner. If you can't change the variable then just sing along to Lady Gaga's Born This Way,and ignore the person's insecure comparisons. I mean, why would you want to compare if you know you're better than the other party,other than wanting to know that you are superior by seeing the self-depreciating looks of the 'loser' after knowing the results? Then again, you can change the variable(x), then change x in your life because your friend did this comparison thing to improve you. More importantly,i think the person doing the comparison should have elaborated why the comparison was made.
e,g A to B: 'let's compare x'
(supposedly A is non-smoker,B is a smoker,both A and B are of the same age, and X is..say,the Cleanliness of One's Lungs,assuming that one is able to check one's lungs with ease..haha)
B loses in the comparison of x
B is shocked( a very stupid B,wouldn't you know that smoking is bad for your lungs,like duh,but i'm just giving an example here,so B is shocked..-.-)
A is allowed to feel 'superior' and B vice versa. But the 'art of goodwill' here would be to show B how bad it is to smoke. A explains the negative consequences of having..a set of dirty lungs.

(/edit)CAN YOU SAY MY EXAMPLE SOUNDS SO DARN MATHEMATICAL LIKE I AM SUCH A ACE STUDENT IN MATH?!

Therefore,i think it is important to rationalize why the other party did a comparison,but after doing so and realizing the real intention of it(be it good or evil),i think ultimately the individual should try to exercise positive thinking. Or probably just not give a flying f*ck and continue loving yourself cause you were 'Born This Way' and 'God made you perfect,and He makes no mistakes.'
I don't quite understand why Lady Gaga seems to have this not-so-secret fetish for her womanhood. I really don't know. Is that empowerment? I think it's kind of near exhibitionism? I don't know..

2011-02-19T22:25:00.000-08:00

Facts
1) I am not in the Indie Band scene,and i feel kinda apologetic somehow, although i do listen to a few tracks of supposedly Índie bands. You just can't help but be a little embarrassed and sorry that you might perhaps be losing out on really good music? But i can't help it,i have fallen in love with Big Bang,and mainstream slutty Americanized songs.(i.e If You Seek Amy, Bad Romance etc) However my love* for Big Bang has traipsed Americanized music,but not to the extent that my love for them has led to a obsession of supposedly,dirty thoughts of them leading to this outburst/rash? of rashes on my legs-which my dad has theorizes.
It doesn't even make any sense.

*love is defined as adoration and admiration,unlike love that is shared by your dear parents/grandparents. Although that interpretation in that context may change if i were to be Mrs Choi.

2)I am being bestowed internet access from M1 at my workplace. FINALLY, the m1 portable thing is working. Hallelujah.

3)I am borderline thankful that I am not messed up like some/most people who are,and especially those that were in love. Isn't tiring going for 'love' over and over again,wasting so much time and energy. Ok,maybe it doesn't seem so 'wasteful' in the beginning..but Gahhh,who am i to judge. Let's just rather make love than war.

4)i think i am mildly psychotic,and i need to sign up for a yoga course now,especially Hot Yoga 30 Days programme to incinerate all my fats at Absolute yoga or was it True Yoga. Somebody sponsor me please.

5) Zouk Flea is on today and i was excited till i realized that i look like a russian babushka. Thats the way to spell it if i am not wrong. My gut seems to shrink a little after i'm out for a while in my crazy outfit.

6) i went to the flashlight batteries (?) flea yesterday,and it lived up to my expectations. I got a maxi,a cropped military jacket, a black tunic top, a dress all for $29. And a skirt for my sister for,like $2. Yeah,BY it wasn't $5,it was $2.
Gawd,i love good flea markets.

7) yay,Siaoshuan is coming to visit me later!

8) I lugged my dad's laptop to work today. It was worthh itt.

9) I still do not know what to do about the situation with CW. My blood still at least simmers whenever i think about how much she has been ignoring this matter. And i have no doubts that she is able to ignore this for a year or more. That's the power of CW's escapism.

2011-02-18T01:13:00.000-08:00

i pray that i have a split-personality and that even though it's me,it's not me ME.
So if i murder someone,it'll be the other me,not the one that hasn't lost her mind.

Seah Bei Ying is the best at testing my patience and i am very close to killing her.
She does not know when to back off;when not to smirk,when not to laugh, and that makes me not know when not to stop tearing her hair off her head. Oh well.

Thus,she will be the first,and probably only person that would be on my To Kill List.

Funniest TOP Videos

2011-02-08T02:09:00.000-08:00

Family Outing EP 35.3
Uploaded by ramensoupsubs. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

Family Outing EP 35.4
Uploaded by ramensoupsubs. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

Family Outing EP 35.5
Uploaded by ramensoupsubs. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

Oldie

2011-02-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

OMG I AM GOING TO BE 19 THIS YEAR. (just edited my profile.)

It feels very old,since i have been acting like a pre-pubescent teen nursing crushes on idols (and models alike). I feel like I'm 12/13. It's getting kind of embarrassing..

[NC16]SEXY..I liiike.waggles eyebrows

2011-02-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

I can't decide if I am a hormonal raging female teenager or a male one...

I like this.I wouldn't want to go home if TOP asked me not to.

I like this sexy video and TOP's sexy voice.(and Big Bang on the whole)

TOP is very sexy here.I liiike.

I also like Sports Illustrated models & Victoria's Secret Angels.
The pictures of Sports Illustrated models are so va-va-voom and un-innocent,i shall only post pictures of the VS Angels.

I am so gonna be judged. Anyway,my favourite VS Angel is Adrianna Lima,who is on the extreme left in the last pic of the VS Angels. My mum once questioned if her boobs were fake,but she's (Adrianna,not my mum) Brazilian. I think that says it all.

I realised that my vocabulary for this post seems to be at the primary level. Nevertheless, this post would make a pretty bad primary school Show-and-Tell.

2011-01-17T00:54:00.000-08:00

Asian pride! *\0/*
I can't decide which is better.

Well,i like the futuristic beats in Yoko Ono's The Sun Is Down. But..it gets kinda disturbing towards the middle and the end. Listen to it carefully and you'll know when it's disturbing when you blast it out loud/within the earshot of your family. I couldn't contain my stifled laughter when she kept repeating 'The Sun is Down' Nevertheless, fact that she's able to still make such indie/futuristic music ( there's a video of Lady Gaga performing her song with her) despite being 70 or 80 years old is just amazing,imo.

A little more in-depth about her: Yoko Ono was ' peace activist, known for her work in avant-garde art, music and filmmaking as well as her marriage to John Lennon. Ono brought feminism to the forefront through her music which prefigured New Wave music (whether she was a direct influence is still debated).[1] She is a supporter of gay rights[2] and is known for her philanthropic contributions to the arts, peace and AIDS outreach programs.'-Yoko Ono's wiki page.

The next video emnbedded is from/features Wing. I know not much of her,just that Yoko Ono reminded me of Wing,whom i've heard of recently. No offense to Yoko and to,well, Wing.. Frankly speaking,i thought Wing was a,sorry,joke. I totally could not keep a straight face listening to her sing the very first time. I thought she was like William Hung (?) singing 'She Bangs She Bangs..' BUT GUESS WHAT,Wing is actually a legit singer who has been on a famous talkshow hosted by somebody famous.. Apparently,she is very popular for the right reasons in New Zealand,if i'm not wrong.

2011-01-14T00:16:00.000-08:00

i hope the embedded video doesn't cover the entire blog post or something.
Anyway, i love my life. Don't you envy me. I fired my employer,seriously.:) And i'm back to being unemployed till monday,where i hope my real work will start. I can't help getting into this internal debate on my job/s and the job/s of others,such as how
1.I could be earning more doing...
2.I could be learning more doing...

IN ADDITION to the not so internal debate of my mother going how,
1.(repeat 1. and 2.)

PLUS the fact that she doesn't seem to be satisfied with my very soon job as a store assistant. ON THE OTHER HAND,my dad has been very excited and happy with my choice of working at his friend's clothing store as it is located at a area of Singapore,which he believes would increase his chances of getting a billionaire son-in-law. Such is the life of a meek Chinese girl,entrapped in the patriarchal asian society,to be auction away to a far and foreign land.
-i needed to vent out my pent-up dramatics.

On a different note, i have a slight but growing fear for the unknown out there,i ought to switch back to livejournal!!!!!11

T.O.P: My biggest crush since i was 13

2011-01-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

just as i had mentioned my love for funshion and the pleasure of bumming about at home,in the previous blog entry,the past few days ever since then has been a real whirlwind of activities. I went for 2 interviews in a day,a 'orientation' of some sort the next day,and guess what,i'l officially be starting to-freaking-morrow. I'm already so sick of 'formal attire' that i am so going to wear t-shirts,fbts,and slippers the next time i go town.

So,tomorrow will be the start of 8am to 6pm working hours..I keep trying to remind myself that the pay is worth it and the commission is even more so,and i WILL tide through. I met xueying,my JC schmate,yesterday at the office coincidentally,as she was there for a interview.It was soo nice to see a familiar face! Really hope that she's selected.*crosses fingers*

funshion & bbupdates.blogspot.com here i come.

omg,today i was crossing the road in town when i heard these two office girls discussing which korean bands/celebrities they liked. This sweet little lamb behind me told her friend in Chinese that she liked this guy from Big Bang. AND I JUST KNEW IT WAS TOP!!!*cue ah lian banner and screams of 'TOP WE LOVE YOU FOREVERZX' in Chi*
I've never felt such strong an impulse to turn my head back and agree with her. Goodness, i could already feel this bond with her,maan. (T.O.P is my man not hers,*blush* but funnily enough i didn't feel like stabbing her,rather,it was like..a mutual appreciation for such a talented person).

Gosh,i thought i was only going to cringe at my blog posts from way back,but now i think i'll cringe when i look back at this very post, a couple of years later.

1st entry of 2011 ooOooH sQuEaLs.NOT.

2011-01-01T23:47:00.000-08:00

2011

Feels so weird to type that down. Anyway,first up,hi Jade,i think you're the only one that follows my blog. How did you get to know about me? Are you the 14-year old female who shares the same surname as I? i.e the one who shares the same bedroom as me. Nevertheless,you have a very cool name!

2011,mmm,i'm glad that i've survived 15 uniform-wearing years of the Singapore education. Haallleluuuujah. And i'm ever pleased to declare that i have been spending my first few days of 2011 bumming in front of the desktop,tv(today was my first Long Usage of it!!!)watching movies. Currently,i've decided to pursue watching chinese 'gu zhuang' shows/period dramas,of which the vulgar eng translation is:ancient costumes shows/period dramas. I do not know my Qing dynasty from the..Han dynasty,and i am borderlin ashamed.. The movies i have watched in the glorious past two days:
-71 Into The Fire (absolute heartbreaker that one..)
-Zombieland (My tolerance for gore has surprised me.)
-The Social Network ( OK,i was left with about 30mins of the show,before my dad's bare presence-footsteps-spurred me to get off the computer.)
-Vampire Hunter D (it was kinda good,anime,yes.ANIME.)
-Doctor Parnasses and the Imaginarium (sp?watched it on DVD)

Dramas/Comedy:
-The Big Bang Theory 4(!! idk if it's me but i think it isn't as funny as previous seasons..)
-Liao Zhai ep 1,2 (not much of excitement)
-Gong Zhu Jia Dao (which i have to rely on chinese subtitles..could have totally aced A'levels Chi if i had realised the existence of funshion)

I love my life at hoooome. I love it when I'm alone at homee!!! SO MUCH FREEDOM & PERSONAL SPACE.

I LOVE FUNSHION!! I LOVE SNACKS THAT SUBSTITUTE MY MEALS! wheeeeeee!

2010-12-30T05:30:00.001-08:00

One thing i hate being deprived from is freedom.I thing it's not so much freedom derived from the rebelling of rules,but more so the freedom in that of my personal space. Trust in friendships has surfaced more prominently for analysis and it has been a eye-opener for both situations. If it's meant to be it's meant to be.

My bitchy sister has just deleted a very detailed paragraph of her..current phase.

The past few days have been fun and blessed,especially spending time both my sister and both groups of girl friends.(ss,chiara and wengweng.) Dinner with syaiis. And best of all, the completion of w-o-r-k. Work span was all but 3 days,nevertheless it was Work of which is something that spurs the obligation to whine and mope about. On to better things, i cannnoot wait for sleepover with VietGangstahhhhz.

ON TO A AWESOME NEW YEAR!!

Nature's way

2010-12-29T10:47:00.001-08:00

today's the last night i'll be able to stay up late (time check: 2.47am) before dad returns home tomorrow.

More significantly, tonight's already the 30th Dec 2010,2010's coming to a close.
Like how significant beginnings are going to seemingly end. Right now,I am at the crossroads of a couple of..situations,thankfully not concerning the family but nevertheless it seems to be heart-wrenching. Honestly, i don't feel much at the moment except for the anger,doubts and dissapointment. I often tell myself not to expect much from building blocks but i guess,sometimes they fit so perfectly that you are led to think that the foundation would be good and thus the end results. What is often burried is the barrier of reality which reminds you that 'nothing is permanent'.

I think what i feel now is also the out of place silence and calm just after the end of a storm. But the real aftermath of it,when you wake up and realty sinks in do you realised the magnitude of the destruction. Welled-up angst and grief,unleashed. There is just so much tolerance in something,from what i have learnt and understood. I think i am still shock about both blows,but i think that's life. It's just quite comforting to know that the time spent establishing the foundation had been all i could ever asked for. It's a rather good wake-up call,and it's a good preparation. If it's meant to be,it's meant to be.

I can only cherish what has not been lost.

/Dew-drops by Spaige

Dew-drops collected on the gentle blades
that slice the heart,roots,
and the ship's anchor,
that gleans for a brighter horizon.

Away from the overcast sky
not least over the rainbow
into the pot of gold
but devoid of colour
yet suited for the collection
of salted dew-drop days.

As the heavens mourn
and hell whistles
a deadly melody on blades
that woo dew-drops for life
for brutal games.
To be left for dead?

Dew-drops formed by life
and drowned in vain by the rain
that steals a breath to provide
for another.
till the next blade strikes
and the next root stunts.Again.

Dew-drops,
are perhaps not
formed just for the unsaid.
But for another day,another say.

Perhaps,perhaps.
it's all a game,
under the shell of the oyster.
pawns,prawns,
Nature's Way.

[M/V] BIGBANG - BEAUTIFUL HANGOVER [HD]

2010-12-20T01:17:00.000-08:00

backk

2010-12-20T00:06:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since I updated,no,signed into blogger that i was surprised that my password worked. On the first try.

I've kinda lost my tenacity/stamina to write,because this seems really weird and i am once again thinking to myself,and rather awkwardly, 'where do i start?'. At this point, i shall once again embark on a series of abrupt sentences in point form (because it starts to get too exciting and fast-paced for me to elaborate on and be naggy.or maybe not)That is where complications will arise. With,multiple 'injections'/'interjections'(?) i.e (), ;, and where i realise that i've forgotten all the literary terms such as when you insert a bracket suddenly in a poem..and this is where you see this post is going to get kind of annoying.Right WS? Since i think you'll be the only one reading it. oh well,ho hum.

Life has been mundane after A'levels. But it is now mundane in a guilt-free,omg-i-love-a-lazy-life kind of way, that is often borders on a Life that is Almost Useless. It has been,close to a month since the end of A's,and honestly there have been times when i try not to exclaim in all helplessness how BORING my life is,because there is just so much time and so much to slack about.BUTT it's definitely heaps better than the bygone days of (A for Awesome) A'levels preparations.

Which reminds me,this is as cheap a thrill as it gets. I was late for my A'Levels (O.M.G.FREAKING BIGGEST MOST BADASS EXAMINATION IN THE ENTIRE LIFE OF PIMPLY SINGAPOREAN STUDENTS.) Economics P2 paper by,10 mins. *heartbeat accelerates to 100mph*(whoa.math siol.) I assumed (GUILTY AS CHARGED)that it was going to start at 2.30 since the previous Econs paper 1 started at 2.30, i planned to arrive 30 mins before the paper (2pm) of which i then arrived at 2.10. Assuming that the paper was at 2.30,i was considerably early. However,arriving at the base of the ramp leading up to the hall....masses of unattended bags sat snobbily there,half-mocking me in weary voices ( i assume them to be tired since i bet their owners were..?) that i was late. I ran up the ramp whilst hitching up my bandage skirt of a school skirt(i kid),slammed my bag(filled with..1 econs revision package and 1 econs file..*crickets chirping*),rummaged through for the necessities and then sprinted into the examination hall. Well,ok,i didn't sprint in the moment i entered the door,good Lord,i don't even know why i wasted time apologising to the teacher who opened the glass doors for me...i even cautiously brisked walked into the hall the first few steps only because i was afraid of making too big a commotion. WTF right. Luckily,something told be to just run and so i did. Hallelujah.I'm not going to think about results because imo my lit paper....excuse me while i sigh my lungs out,didn't feel as wonderful as how the rest of the freaking lit cohort thought it was.

Anyway,i'm proud of myself for surviving thus far.Hwaiting! *pats back vigorously*
I think i deviated from my initial plan of writing in an abrupt point form..

Initially i thought post-A's would be glorious time spent on positive,educational and fun activities a la annoying camps that bring out the Leader in You~~. My plan was to learn Korean,join a Pilates class, learn Kickboxing yadayadayaj1asdsdhjk. So far,i'm glad that i can swim,supposedly hardcore,now,like 30+(MINIMUM 30!Hear my masculine ROAR)laps whenever i head down to the public pool for a competitive swim with the other lads.

Besides enjoying the free time i have on my hands on swimming,(idk why but now i sound like i'm trying to sell myself on a dating website..which i'm NOT.),i have been meeting up with my BBQ 6J ExCo Code Hot People 143 No Parangs friends,and having multiple balls of time. My sick sense of humour is...apologetic. Yes,it just told me so. Maan,i love laughing with you guys and challenging the walls of my bladder every.single.time.

On a side note,my bestest best friend in the world is now the internet,and coming close second is my itouch which i often use to manipulate my first best friend. This leaves me feeling a sense of loss,because i've realised that my love for reading has waned?:( Either i've not found a good book,(i didn't finish the last book i read which i had borrowed from the library..-guilt-) or the internet(e.g Twitter) has offered more attention-grabbing 'reads' than the traditional books. Of WHICH I am now disagreeing because i argued that print works still have a place in the modern society in my A'levels GP paper.(*hyperventilates*) This reminds me of the multiple girl dramas in school,and i'm glad there's now peace.. Anyway,nah i was just kidding. My best human friends know who they are~~.

1)Best Music Group ever since i was in pri sch:
Big Bang

Reasons: They're Beautiful Hangover music video,for some rhyme or reason swept me off my feet!! As well as their 2Days 1 Night videos which i felt had revealed them to be so genuine and awesome. Plus, the fact that they are so original; from the composition of their songs to the melody,their music videos,their talents, T.O.P. *SWOON*

Entertaining 'reality TV':
-Bad Girls Club season 5

2010-10-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

still mopping around like a sick damp mop. I can't decide if this song is motivational or otherwise.
Anw,i swam 25 laps today with WS who cheated many,many times..
we attempted to scour for 'hot' guys in the pool but i,i think,WE, gave up after ws declared that he was the 'only one'. Oh,and there were scary ah peks who would just stare.and stare somemore.

Destination Unknown by Missing Persons

Life is so strange when you don't know
How can you tell where you're going to
You can't be sure of any situation
Something could change and then you won't know

You ask yourself
Where do we go from here
It seems so hot in here
Just as far beyond as I can see
I still don't know what this all means to me

So you tell yourself
I have nowhere to go
I don't know what to do
And I don't even know the time of day
I guess it doesn't matter any way

Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
And then you won't know

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/destination-unknown-lyrics-missing-persons.html ]

Destination unknown

You ask yourself
When will my time come
Has it all been said and done
I know I'll leave when its my time to go
'Til then I'll carry on with what I know

Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
And then you won't know
Destination unknown

Life is so strange
.

2010-09-29T03:19:00.000-07:00

I wanted to start off by letting out all the hate,dissapointment of which is my academic life,which seems,no,is the very essence of life itself right now and very likely life after A's.Which is very morbid and literally deadly,but I saw my previous post and I found a bit of sanity.

Currently,one of my classmate has printed a shirt that says 'I hate myself and I want to die' and i believed it has garnered enough demand to be supplied to depressed candidates of A'levels 2010.(What market failure?) And I've tweeted 'Life sucks.Take drugs. Let's make a suicide pact.' Haha. Before you continue to cringe at the amount of whiny teenage angst-filled verbatim devoid of maturity and the drive to 'achieve one's burning aspirations in life' as mentioned in my prev post(which I have contradicted myself),I daresay the recognition of the 'fragility of life' is not much of an encouragement to LIVE ON AND THRIVE when adversity this hard creeps into your life and the immense responsiblity of having a good future which lies solely on your back,'cause ultimately,who's the one sitting for A's and who needs the (many) 'A's?

I'm not supporting the idea that death is the most friendly way out of the dire situation of depressed candidates aka ithinkyourstruly, with only 40 days left till the first A'level paper and a very,very encouraging Utopian U for the econs prelim paper BUT I acknowledge how tempting an idea it but of which is horrible and devastating to your family.I assure,gulp,you that I'm not going to take my life..before the A'levels papers no matter how trying it all seems......

I'll readily admit that this responsibilty I've to carry is such a annoying son of a bitch,and I'll be lying if I were to say how my determination is as strong as one that has been tampered with performance-inducing drugs..I admitted to my good friend today how I sometimes stop the belief in myself so that when the dissapointment comes,at least I wasn't expecting this much.We both knew how bad it was,and I now feel kinda dumb and, tired.

It's easy heading the well,easy way out,but I guess at this point in time where I can't do much about my life except to study hard and put up struggle in the struggle that is life,I guess,at the very least I'm LIVING it out..
I should have spent the time blogging to study something,it's true,but this has been a effective way to sort out my thoughts,

Like what a wise friend said 'I'm not going to mug hard,I'm going to bowl,plate,spoon!!!!'

Should be heading out to mug with ws soon,but I gotta catch a few
winks.;)

Wonder of Fragility

2010-07-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I wonder who is reading this blog since forever,but that's really not my focus since it's 'for your eyes only' and I prefer to thrash out my thoughts here.

I went to type,well,an acquaintance's name in the search inbox button.And as it turned out the mails were still there even though I've deleted it. It made me realized how impossible it was to be more than friends; the differing mindsets,slight but evident difference in maturity.

Anyway, that was years ago, right now I have enough of (dire)academic priorities to occupy my time. Speaking about this, I've realized that my studying methods are wrong and I should honestly work on the bits that are really off.

On another note,the analysis of my blood test results was done with my doctor and the shocking response was that my T3,T4 levels were dangerously high (admittedly I have not been consistently taking my medicine as well as I have been exercising the irregularity of popping 5 pills or more only when I feel serious heart palpitations.) Moreover,she said that I could and actually,should be hospitalized because I could experience a heart failure and..well, I could just pass away.

Although I have considered the idea of death in the past,which I believe majority of people have also ever thought about it, I have never had the emotional strength to be able to carry it out,simply because I felt that I owe my parents far to much to end the life they had provided and cared for.

Funnily enough,this sometimes resulted in me not deciding to buy a particular material want,because ultimately this expenditure of mine would never be earned back,if I were to ever die.Then again,given the fragility of life,wouldn't one be careful in spending and saving for one's parents or children? Then again, considering the other aspect of pursuing one's material wants exactly because life is short, I think it too is valid.

However,I think it depends on the financial situation and the individual. But then both factors are also subjective,such as how the rich might spend more money on his material wants upon news of death. Or, the rich might be so satisfied with his material gains then there wold be no material wants.

Nevertheless,I have more conviction in dying in my own hands,as morbid as it sounds, then ever be taken by the course of nature. Bottom line, I can't die when I've not fulfilled my dream; to help people in poverty(AS MISS-UNIVERSE'S-IDEAL-ANS AS IT SOUNDS),to help alleviate hunger. That is partly,no,entirely because I think my present daily chompfest/itchymouth/nomnomnom habit could have be attributed to the fact that I might have been a starving African child in my previous life. Well,my sister's exasperated complains of seeing me 'chewing something every 15 minutes' practically describes my,er,eating habit.

Thus, I live to eat and not eat to live. Not forgetting that, I live for my parents too. And right now,although there is this mountainous stack of books (omg,especially Econs.*sobs*) to understand,much less revise,the horrid results of tests and then finding the courage to get up and to push away thoughts of incompetence.. It's a tiring process. Soo, I'm now gonna make a playlist of positive,regardless of its thrashiness,songs that sing of realizing your dreams,yes!('Foo,your royal p***s is clean!...Everyday I see my dream..' And being a survivor.>:)

These few days have been a real roller-coaster ride.

2010-07-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

I wish you wouldn't be So Sad.

Perhaps that's cause we didn't get the chance to get to know each other better,that I can't feel the depth of your dismay towards life and your frantic thoughts that plague you. I don't understand.

Perhaps it's the fragility of life that I have been too-often be exposed to; Dad's lecture on the African kids living in poverty, the passing of his Old Friend. Perhaps,you have been too but.
Perhaps we are on different rungs.

But I want to offer my listening ear.But perhaps,you cannot hear me.

I wish you wouldn't be so,sad.

2010-06-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

Alright so I wanted to fast-forward the pace of my Wide Sargasso Sea (WSS) revision, and thus I have finished 90% of the 1993 film on YouTube. Anyway,I got really interested in the actress acting Antoinette cause omgosh, her poise, her bold acting skills and her super sexy accent! I HATE ROCHESTER,why can't he just let Antoinette GO and let her stay with Christophine?(who's the #1 heroine.LOVE her even though stupid people gave comments about how she's mad)

I digress.Okokok,I went to research on her later works after WSS,and I daresay her stellar performance was in WSS. She later starred in,I couldn't quite believe it,the L-word which is about,simply,Lesbianism.

Anyway,enough talk and more vids!
P.S Antoinette is acted out by Karina Lombard.DON'T YOU THINK SHE RESEMBLES GISELE BUNDCHEN?

Before, In WSS:

HAVE TO WATCH THE PREVIOUS PART,part 2,TO SEE HER EFFING GOOD POISE AND ATTITUDE.

After,in the L-word and CSI:

-----------------
CSI: (for fast preview,fast-forward to 1:15 or 2:00) I prefer her in CSI.

OK,so is it me or is true that her accent has sorta faded away? It isn't as strong as in WSS.

To the many You's In My Life

2010-06-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hmm,feeling really wistful at the moment cause honestly,the weather and the 3fans at home that are not used by me isn't altering the fact that it's too unconducive to study here..

So,here's to the many You's,be it old friends,present friends,relatives,teachers,acquaintances,etc.Well,basically people whom has stepped into my life that l feel, I ought to say what I feel about You just that due to perhaps inconveniences,different time frames,and I guess for the novelty of secrecy and blind guesses I've decided to tell You behind the screen of my itouch.

1)I wish I could have known You better and have the patience to appreciate You being Yourself.Perhaps I'm not leaving my comfort zone to meet new friends,perhaps we're both pirioritising the finale of these two years that we've lost the patience and time to learn about one another.I guess we each had subtle judgements of one another? I wished that I could be Your Friend and be there for you,no matter in class or not. Hm,I hope I was at least in certain aspects.

2)Mr You,I wished I had appreciated You better with your corny jokes and down-to-earth teachings.I'll deeply regret the Pujas that You can no longer do for your students for them to be rid of obstacles and to have good results for their A's.Sorry that I didn't give you any Watson vouchers. I hope to remember You 10 years down the road. I will miss Your free fengshui consultations in class.

3)You.Have taught me quite alot about myself.You taught me how to be decisive,how to make decisions right for Myself,how to deal with this new pain and how I'm not that good at forming that guard. I wouldn't say that I missed your presence,but it fuels me to reach that academic mark where You are at. I hope it'd be O.K.

4)I don't know how I exactly feel about You, cause you've been scarily two-faced; scolding us and then passing us food. What do I make of You? I am suppose to be filled with Anger,but how fast it subsides when You're nice. How I betray my..I'll let You know,just stop stirring shit.

2010-05-24T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ok,it has been exactly 20 days since I last blogged.
Updates would be that
- I would be participating in *SCAPE's retail launch,more about that later when i'm no longer cringing in embarrassment.Although it's sort of a dream come true,well i hope it's not gonna end right here! PJ the VS Angel!!!;) Yes,i do live in my fantasy world called Beautiful Escapism.(which sounds like either a techno song or a concerto in D5 or something like that.
-I haven't been reading up on poetry nor creating any..
-(shall take away the many 'I's' cause that's quite masculine and egocentric and therefore i would be subjugating myself and losing my sense of a female identity.haha)have been spamming a few blogs,am starting to love formspring cause its quite InTeRessTiNg. I think i'm never gonna be creating one cause it'll most probably be zero questions,and what if somebody asks 'Gawd,why are you so ugly.' What am i suppose to answer? HAHA

-Oh btw, i have analysed that 'Haha' has become
1) a (sort of lame leh)convenient way to put off a awkward situation(I mean,it'll probably work on kids under age of 10,i mean,i'm one to know cause i've tried that.:D er,Haha.)
2) an attempt to divert the attention of the listener after an embarrassing truth has been revealed.
3) a Speaker/Writer's mindset that he/she thinks it's cute. OMG,that's equivalent of going 'kekekexx'.IMHO,i think that's acceptable in either a)a kawaiiinehx society or b) those taiwan meimei that do the cuetsy dolly voice or in MY situation..c)pent-up academic frustrations
(Although Hokkien vulgarities are really apt substitutes too.)

-made new friends from *scape;a bunch of friendly and inspiring youngsters.*Gets oil for rheumatism*

-GP mid-year exam is,exactly..3 days from today,and so far i've only read the first content page on science and tech in the Economist and the first page of the GP bulletin notes.

-I honestly need to renew my motivation,yes renew because i'm no longer as motivated a in Year1 and that's scary seeing that A's is pretty much less than 6 months away.
Soo,recently,do not laugh, Avril Lavigne's Nobody Home has become one of my sulking-in-a-corner-I-hate-the-world-moment music to cope with.

Note to self: DELETE BLOG.BAD IMPRESSION to employers..

2010-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I like this blog post from a friend of mine;yongology.wordpress.com 'Found this on Joel Kek’s blog and took it from Mr Wang Says So. This was written some time ago by Adrian Tan, a litigator and author of The Teenage Textbook, to the NTU graduating class of 2008.

–

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.

–

2010-04-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

#1.I hate it when I know I've did something wrong,and you let me off by screaming out all my flaws-

Sometimes I feel so distraught by how much anger i'm capable that it freaks me out and fuels my anger further. You know the kind of anger that fills you that you honestly feel like kiling somebody in the worse possible way ever?(ok,perhaps it's just me)But although knowing that it goes against my religion,i can't help but just,feel. And speaking about this just pushes me further on the edge and i shall hereby rant about what i hate the most,even from the most insignicant act you might never have spared a thought of. I think the only way i'm able to profess this is through this medium,i mean when else can you still retain any semblance of social acceptance if you were to blatantly yell '
I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS'. I too feel this need to break this illusion that i'm even-tempered because I guess i'll only dissapoint otherwise.

Although i may not feel the full force of anger vibrating in every part of my body usually,there is always A Time for it.(and you can bet that it comes at least once a month).

-I hate it when you try and take a peak at what i'm eating from my lunchbox;the very act of you acting all nonchalent (and quickly behaving that you're not) is actually rather irksome. I've told you before,so just ask dude.

-I hate it when i'm labelled pretty much,stupid, when i've gotten horrid results this term even though i'd actually done much better last term. Yes,I do know that i'm regressing and there is a need for worry,but the point is i'm capable of getting better. Ah,rot in hell.

-I hate how my peers from better schools/with better grades are saying how life sucks/life is going down yadayadafuckcrap. In this screwed up education system,you're doing well enough already so suck it up, bitches.

-I hate it how my sister firmly belives that her capacity to lie is a form of diplomacy that retains whatever supposed peace that exists in relationships. Honey,it's wrong.Lying's not good,and a freaking flawed one just makes it worse.
I don't know if you think this way is better but i've done my part and if we're both grown up 20 years down the road and we're still not talking,and you receive a call from Charmaine that i've suffered a stroke and have loss my memory (watch the Notebook)and anythiing that has to do with your existence is my life (e.g our stupid funfair games we play in the past).You know what,whatever man,it's your call. I'm sick of caring.

-I hate how i've put in so much effort but the results don't show and i've to just resigned to the excuse that yeah,i was just lazy. Cause it's much better than being labelled as dumb.

--I hate how stupid i feel by societal's standards.

P.S I've realised that sarcasm no longer works on my mum.
Mum:'See,everyday on the computer,everytime see that you're looking at clothes'
Me: 'YEAH,EVERYDAY.You're so observant,knowing that i use the computer EVERYDAY.'
Mum: 'Yeah! Everyday you know..'

2010-04-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's 12 in the morning and i've been too caught up in this virtual beauty pageant online of which i'm the judge.Therefore,i'm still with a empty-ok no,wow,it's almost a page of- 'commentary' that i've done for The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahri. It's my homework for lit,and i've barely covered one of the concerns.

Anyway,i sorta celebrated our birthday together with a picnic at botanic gardens which consisted alot of good food made mainly by Charmaine(there was broccoli in cheese,shepherd's pie,chocolate coated marshmallow/grapes/strawberries OMGYUM.)and my humble offerings of tuna sandwich,lemonade and jelly with peach. Pictures have yet to upload themselves,once again,much to the frustration of yours truly.

Had another 'picnic' today in school,which was a celebration of Chermaine's birthday as well as the April babies'.It was quite a medium-sized bingefest. OHOH,of which i made chocolate coated marshmallows and apple slices! So did present my lemonade!

GP tutorial today was a full 1 and a 1/2 hour on politics.It was so dry and the weather was so humid and warm,i was practically writhing in my seat only surviving because of my body's automatic stabilizer which doesn't work like the typical one which is automatically implemented to save a economy from heading into a full-on recession,it's just a coping-mechanism called Doodling On My Notes for me.

Thursday is such a hard,long day. I know i'm suppose to wave away these negative thoughts and all that but i'm sort of doubting if that'll just make me a self-delusional person. Then again,perhaps that could be the ideal 'automatic stabilizer' to cope with life..

2010-03-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

Seriouslyy,my 18th Birthday has been rlly awesome.
I got a freaking cute pinata from the HHD,of which i actually believed their lie about how the pinata was for the class presentation for Humanities Week and sth along the lines of it being a prop for some 'zhu ge liang'skit thingy. Absolutely no idea knowing where the link was at.Anyway the pinata was filled with most of my favorite stuff which they got to know after getting me to play this game of 'Favourite Items' on the bus a day before my birthday.Enqi even baked this awesome chocolate cake for me!!!:DD
It was really,really good. Once again, reinforcing the slogan of 'Enqi For Wife!'

Had dinner with cousins at Burger Shack.Met claudia there coincidentally,and it was really nice meeting her again after such a long time! Cousins' surprised me with a freakin,omg-wait for it-,ipod touch. I seriously couldn't believe it at all,and was actually even afraid of unwrapping the heavily wrapped present.I honestly though it was going to be a bag for recycling or a piece of clothing. But when i felt the small,hard,rectangular (!!) casing,i was utterly thrilled. I was also pretty much,afraid that it was going to be what i thought it might be cause,goodness, it came with quite a hefty price tag. Anyway,let's just say that i'm so obligated to get a Prada/Birkin bag for them..God please show me the way to (rich) success.

Alrightay,i came home at about 11.30, and now i'm droopy-eyed and feeling a tad apologetic for the lack of effective description of emotions in this blog entry.But i honestly has a wonderful,fun time with my good friends in class and the bestest cousins (materialistis aspect soo aside..) one can ever ask for.

I have this strong urge to skip sch tomorrow..ugggherhfouegsad.

P.S came home this morning and went 'Congrats Mum,ur eldest daughter was born on this day!' while she unlocked the locks on the door for me.Heh.

P.S.S and weishee my pri6classmate/neighbor from the next block/study buddy just passed me this card like an hour ago! It's a really funny and cute card,apparently there's a picture of taylor swift and me. OK la,i pretty much like her.;)

2010-03-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

I have been very productive academically this past few days in preparation for term tests.
Weishee has been a awesome study partner! And i have clocked at least 18 hours in the library.Productive work,i have done. SBY!!!!

2010-03-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

I (L) Glowpinkstah. She's hilarious!

2010-03-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

OMG..
ok here goes.
I've joined this competition by this youth organization in Singapore which i thought was only about becoming one of the media ambassadors and winning it would mean getting the awesome prizes which are just awesome! Read: Trip to London,$6000 worth of etc etc.
I didn't really know about the talent part,but i sort of brainstormed for questions before heading down for the interview today and so i prepared for an introduction if there were to be one. I decided to crap about how i can imitate different accents pretty well if i don't succumb to laughter.AND,omg,it's now officially one of my talents at least under talents on my profile page.It's not singing,acting,dancing,(which the other contestants are mostly showcasing.) OMGGGG,i feel like such a joke.It's so comical that i'm biting back a sheepish laugh.
oh no, can this entry be google-d?
alright,i'll check later.

Anyway,i don't know. When i first saw the online brochure someone sent me,(i think it was through the past activity i joined last year)and when i zoomed into the word 'London'.Honestly,P-R-I-M-A-R-K came to my mind. It's like my brain cells did a synchronized choreography of the letters. I'm NOT DONE SHOPPING THERE (million exclamation marks to be inserted here)even though the last time i shopped there was 4 months back.

But,come to think of it it's quite close to what i've always wanted to do since young, and that was to be a World Wildlife Fund(WWF) volunteer,traipsing around the deep jungles of Congo rescuing gorillas from poachers. Slugs and leeches couldn't and wouldn't stop me from my cause.I was the Amazonian Warrior-Princess cum WWF volunteer. Then you know,school took over and chemistry bombarded me with the periodic table and what happens when hydrochloric acid mixes with a strip of aluminium or what-have-you-not..and dreams of Amazonian Warrior-Princess (with legs going on forever and raven black hair dark and gorgeous.Voluminous even. Despite the humidity of the Congo Jungle.)faded away. Plus,what would Amazonian Warrior-Princess do being under-age and penniless? Harvest bugs to sell?

Aneeway,come to think about it,i'm just going to let nature take its course.You only live once.*pats self on back*
(ideals of reincarnation aside,this time)

Oh gosh,if this has been googled and found.I just wanna say,i'm sure this is going to be an experience and Matthew you are so nice!Do you know i was shaking initially?And you remind me of this band member from this local band. Anyway,vote for me,i want to go to London(**~^PRIMARK~^**) and fulfill my dreams of being Amazonian Warrior-Princess,or at least to help the causes which i'll be championing.

Note to self,find other talents!Maybe best at doing yoga positions in the middle of the night without waking up and freaking sleeping sister. (This sentence ought to be have the first letter of every word capitalized but i'm too lazy to go edit.hur.)

wow,i guess i've gotten pretty much everything off my chest.

Today hasn't been a productive day academically..:(

toodulu

2010-03-15T09:28:00.001-07:00

This is awesome.

2010-03-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

i want a sassy gay friend with a (preferably high)style quotient.I'm just waiting for whoever one of them to come out of the closet.

2010-03-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

OK.
I cringe
when i read my posts from 5 years back.
I was..12?
Don't judge.
At least not consciously.

This could be a poem. Then,you can probably analyse how disjointed the poet's thoughts were and how punctuation as a device used in literature to show this fragmented,conscious attempt has been made by the poet.

I'm suddenly jerked to reality that i've not typed a single letter on my China Studies Indie (yes,it sounds less intimidating like that..)Study and am suddenly filled with this bout of worry for my lit text, The Birthday Party by Pinter. It's absurd. And that's actually,one of its themes; Absurdity.

hahahahhahahaha.
Hear my forced laughter echoing in cyberspace.
i choke it back
my smile.

shite.I always wish that we could all speak poetry-speak. Then we can all forget about grammar structures,spelling, sentence structures because we'll just be too busy trying to infer and analyse the speaker's intention.*quiet chuckle*
Yah,we can all add colloquial terms too,cause then we would find our style.But perhaps in this case,it'll sort of be a homogeneous style for every country,or perhaps just Singapore.(?)

:) It's a happy day.

2010-03-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

School is awesome if you think about the onslaught of homework and revision that you're sucking up..
but i'm glad that PJ's keeping us on track with our preparations. I daresay, school has been awesome(!!:D) with the HHD; multiple observations and inferences of boys in school and the never-ending hugs of goodbyes despite knowing full well that we'd be seeing each other in less than 24 hours.

March hols are going to be books,books and more books imma make sure i can actually digest and do selective regurgitation when it calls for.

Can you believe the fact that people armed with books literally queue up outside public libraries in anticipation of the opening time.I wonder, do they make a dash for the empty tables?

Onward differentiation,integration and my absolute favorite,most-loved and pleasure-inducing sucker of a topic; statistics. Gaaaawd,i freaking love the challenges in front of me because i do so know that with persistence imma clinch my success. *shivers down spine with nervous darts around the room* I never fail to cheese myself out whilst i attempt to brim with positivity. Alas, that is the jaded mind of a 17 year old (OMG,wonderful,joyous,great, extraordinary,admirable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, awe-inspiring, awesome, brilliant, cool*, divine*, dynamite, enjoyable, excellent, fabulous, fantastic, fine, groovy*, incredible, magnificent, marvelous, miraculous, outstanding, peachy*, phenomenal, pleasant, pleasing, prime, remarkable, sensational, something else, staggering, startling, strange, stupendous, super, superb, surprising, swell, terrific, too much*, tremendous, 18 is gonna arrive soon.FYI,the above is a hyperbole,if you've not detected it..),well it's not a really impressionable young age.

Positivity.positivity,positiviteeee!

2010-03-04T05:19:00.000-08:00

Whenever i see Twilight,i think of Lizard aka Junior Miss Seah in the family.('Lizard''s sort of a inside joke,coz my mum was saying how leaving food(packaged ones) around the kitchen is just gonna be there for lizards to sniff if we aren't gonna open up and eat it.And i immediately thought of my sister.)

2010-03-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

remember me?
hey! lol of course!

I feel this flutter of joy.Yours truly hasn't been forgotten!
Okok,to try for CAP council i shall.

or should i not? It's 11 days to the deadline!!

2010-03-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

This video's nice in a sweet,unassuming way.It's neither too in-your-face,nor is it corny.

Yay,i've finally found somebody else, besides Charmaine ,who understands my abhorrence towards the usage of *cringe* 'Cui' *cringe*,and that's Ruyee. Who shares my same sentiments but also especially towards 'diaaaao'.

'This is damn cui siol.'
omg.DIE already!!

Anw,ONWARD CSE IS!!!CAFFEINE.HORRID COMPLEXION.EYEBAGS. For the 30 marks!!

2010-02-22T06:26:00.000-08:00

I'm a Barbie girrl.
I hope this isn't a sign of brain cells regression.Maybe playing catching in class during CT period was already the first few symptoms.

2010-02-21T05:17:00.000-08:00

Cath Sch Kid Is Liberal
starring Mr Sudwestrunkfunk

Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
hai ya....
i so have to change my behaviour in sch alrdy
PaeJean says:
into what?
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
i got scolded for hugging a guy
and also got scolded for hugging a girl
PaeJean says:
ahaha!
who??
wah u so liberal now!
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
casue we were walking back frm a lec, so i put my hand over some guys waist,and he did the samw....
and some teacher scold us
PaeJean says:
ohh was it in the pic?
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
there was worse
PaeJean says:
HAHA how did the teacher scold?
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
we wanted to piss the teacher so we put our hands into each other's backpocket
then there was the girls...
was walking out of sch...the i put my hands over 2 girls..
and walked past the general office...
PaeJean says:
O M G
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
some anal/conservertive teacher came out and shouted....no touchy in school
PaeJean says:
pffthah.duh u're in catholic sch,teachers are suppose to be conservative
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
....
damn pissed...
i aim to be a gd boy frm tmr onwards
PaeJean says:
sure.
Jeremy Sudwestrunkfunk says:
but i think its gonna be damn hard

--
Why do i lack the photographic memory of my sister's?
Let CSE be easy.

2010-02-18T08:41:00.001-08:00

I think Ashisha still feels uncomfortable when i suddenly go 'OMG,she's so pretty!'.

Could it be one of the differences deriving from the different streams that we are studying in? This would be a..sweeping generalisation in GP-speak (OF WHICH I STILL FEEL DARNIT SORE FOR SUFFERING FROM THAT TREATMENT.ARGH.UNPROFESSIONALISM.You're not suppose to diao your students at least.) Anw,that people in the arts are more liberal? I guess because my class is predominantly made up of girls,and most of my friends are form single-sex school,i guess it was perfectly fine to look around you and voice out your admiration for another girl. Admiration,as in the pure notion of admiration without any hints of,er,infatuation.

On the other hand,it would have been borderline weird to do so in a mixed-gender school because you'll be labelled a lesbian,whether as a joke or not.

Then again,it really boils down to the friends you hang out with in whichever school you're in.If they were the liberal-kind,it wouldn't be wrong to say that they wouldn't give you weird stares whenever you express your admiration for the same gender.

In a way,it's perhaps the same way as how an Auntie would go 'wow,you've grown so tall and pretty'to her niece or how an Uncle might say something along the lines to his nephew.

Admittedly, there are different variations of admiration ranging from that of my explanation to perhaps to somewhere where present society might not be too keen on accepting.

Nevertheless,i can't help but still sense his unease.Heh.
Me: 'OMG,her hair is so nice!!'
A: 'er,it's just long?'

I want more ABs(Ang Bao but also A,Bs too) this CNY.Invite me people,invite!

toodulu

2010-02-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Ok,i went to google Godfrey Gao's pics after reading about him in this chi mag i saw lying around at my grandparent's place today.
ANW,dang he is such a good eye-candy.

Regarding my academic work..i'm trying my best to regain the momentum of studying which has become this rather far-fetched activity besides my present lifestyle of eating,receiving ang pows,going to the loo and lazing around. tres bad,i know. But is it me or is this CNY especially energy-draining? I catnapped at least twice on the first and second day.

I think i'm going to study with HY and WS tomorrow..i'm still considering the trade off between ang pows and the completion of hwk,in between admiring hot girls online (noo,it's not what you think it is.Actually i didn't even have much time to do so)and nodding away.

This is such a lazy post.

toodulu

2010-02-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

First day of CNY was over 7 minutes ago.

So,yesterday was considerably enjoyable, at least the atmosphere at my grandma's was rather comfortable. Last night's Shou Ye activity which i dutifully carried out as a filial child was successful, with some help from Viwawa's Wahjong game (i've this new-found,burning desire to play MJ whenever possible.) that i played late into the early morn.

It's suppose to be a guilt-trip,this CNY. With dust gathering atop of my homework ever since Orientation started,i'm trying to get my momentum back but something just tells me to enjoy my CNY to the fullest before all hell breaks lose.(*choygahlay*) I'm gonna try to wake up early with my h/x mugger sister.She's gonna wake up at 6 plus a.m to,i presume,do assessments. It's really inspiring and to an extent,really annoying too..
She once told me off for not behaving like a student taking her A's this year. That had me crawling back to my study room with a wounded pride,too traumatized to start revision, apparently.

ANYWAY,i'm going to play a round of wahjong which supposedly boosts brain power (which i infer,esp maths skills and of which i hope it'll aid in my normal,binom revision).

Tomorrow's gonna be a totally awesome CNY day! Huh,what homework?

toodulu

2010-02-01T05:34:00.000-08:00

What are the chances that 3 OGs would be dancing to more than 4 korean songs for Orientation?And 2 being Sorry by this korean boy band that i can't believe i've forgotten..

I can't fathom how on earth they make korean songs so catchy,but i guess i'm on the korean-craze bandwagon. Though not so much of obsession,but more of curiosity getting the better out of me.

Anyway,Hyori Lee,is SO hot.GAAWD.I bet she gives awesome fantasies/'dreams' to hot-blooded males. Hmm,her resemblance to BoA is rather uncanny eh? Check out the ghetto/in da hood scenes,so USA to the big CIA.

2010-01-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

OMG.
I DON'T WANT TO TURN 18.
When i think of being 18,i think of the chinese proverb that goes something like '18 year old girls are like flowers'.
And i'll get into a panicky fit and my train of thoughts would go from 'what if you don't think you're ready to be a flower?!?!' to "What if you can't uphold the responsibility of being 'a flower'?Or what if you fall below societal's expectations of 'A Flower'?" !?!?!?!?!!?
Nooooooooooo..

I still feel like i'm 15.
Awkward.And mood-swingy.
OMG..CNY.
I can already feel myself being bogged down by guilt for my many, failed resolutions.
-

I pray,I pray that my CSE IS will be fine and dandy.
As dandy as a dandelion..flower.
-
OMG.....
(this is just a meaningless lament but it is actually quite anxiety-reliveing.Heh.)
OMGGG.I.Do.Not.Want.To.Turn.18..
at least till when i become 'A Flower',*cringe*

toodulu

2010-01-21T05:42:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to love discussions in literature class.
It's sort of a 'the more educated you seem to be,the stupid-er you seem to feel'. For starters, the discussion on what entails feminism(s) led to the debate on what truly makes a 'Gentleman' and how being one isn't as simplistic/ that 'big-hearted' a role as you might have initially thought it out to be,ladies.

I guess it depends on your perspective, but we analysed it to be that the act of chivalry or basically being a 'Gentleman-ly' towards a female seems to be that of acknowledgement that the female is a weaker sex and therefore the male sees the need to accommodate her needs. E.g Case 1. Male deems Female to be weak and infers that she does not have the strength to open doors. Therefore, Male opens door for Female.

The discussion also went on to the irony that even though on one hand females are championing rights to be on the same footing as males, (i can't decide whether to use 'they' or 'we'.HEH)females are still demanding to be treated nicely by The Gentleman.

*small voice* i think i should use 'we',cause i used to be one of those females.
It's like when i had guides (irony alert,because guides is actually about teaching females skills that were only taught to males in the past,like The Art of Camping, Tying Knots and Lashing and Using An Axe to Chop Of Wood ,and when we were preparing for campfire we had to lug heavy items around and when guys offered to help- all of us would lower our eyes and silently go 'heh heh' while exchanging secret smirks underneath the obligated blushing and 'really??it's ok you know.really!Really?Ohh ok...THANKS!'

Then again,that doesn't happen all the time and we (*smirks) do find female empowerment in the strength of our sisterhood! We can efficiently make a shelter out of a tent in less than 5 minutes, we are able to trek from bt.timah to bt.batok and THEN BACK to bt.timah in the dead of the morning.AND still survive on only 2/3 hrs of sleep after that.

I have digressed. But nobody really cares anyway.

In conclusion,i feel learned.And stupid at the same time.I have discovered works by Irigaray,Cixious and Kristeva. So much on feminism.

Don't you think their surnames sound like the names of Hindu gods..?

toodulu

2010-01-14T09:11:00.000-08:00

You'll get this little fuzzy feeling:

To Be Thrown
A few drops remain like tiny dewdrops
speckled on leaves in the morning sun
Unlike their beauty,they're grey
-perhaps a little blue too-
Unbeknownst to all,
they've tumbled through the spin-dry of lies
The climatic and the anti,
in the blink of an eye
Perhaps like a roller coaster
but with your rolled eyes

the remains of vomit
the attempt of the purge,
devoiding the emotions
yet relieving the hurt
You cough the
Lifeless Leech of a L-word
lest it loses life?

-spaige

2010-01-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

This is one of those moments where i've visited blogs/a blog and here i am trying to relieve myself of my inadequacy in comparison to the writings on the blog/s i've visited,by attempting to type a coherent and intelligent entry with GP-like analysis of my life/viewpoints.

*closes econs notes in front of me*

And...
it's yet again one of those moments where i can't think of anything intelligent to impart without thinking about how pretentious i'm going to be but on the other hand knowing that it is a good habit to inculcate.Not being pretentious,but basically writing about logical and unsuperficial stuff.(Then again,have i been doing that?OK,do not answer.)

I think,
the challenge of doing my China Studies IS has already started,and i still feel insecure about my research topic. I plan to do something along the lines of pollution concerning Beijing and the Yellow River but it's quite infuriating to not be able to find academic readings on these topics.Well,hopefully it's just.. for now.
I thought of trying to make use of my guanxi (it's so appropraite in this context,IKR?)to have access to NUS's and NTU's library but it is not only a matter of opening up my golden mouth to request(*blush*) but also the entire ordeal; ensuring that my pals can come along with me (i mean,i don't have the guts to trod on such solid academic grounds on my own.Needless to say,me being someone who would be trespassing into the school.At least for now.),someone to guide us there,yadayadayadayada. But i'll think about it.

..

I think,that's intelligent enough..at least border-line.

WHY DO PEOPLE SUBSTITUTE THE LACK OF GUTS WITH 'cause i'm just too PUSSY to do..'
WTH.Don't be stupid and try to argue that 'noo,perhaps it's a referrence to little kittens blahblah.'If your secondary school class didn't pollute your mind,go to mine. Anyway, isn't it an obvious preference to be masculine/emphasize one's masculinity because one deems females to be wimpy and all that? Why don't people ever say 'cause i'm just too PENIS to do that..'
RIGHT?!
I'm gonna start emphasizing feminity and at least make it on par with the level of might the masculine words seem to wield.

YOU SHOULD TOO.

2010-01-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

Fine,i am warped. I totally lmao at the kids who got freaking scared.

2010-01-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

OH MY GAWD.
I can't imagine school-life without my spouse.(in facebook-speak)
It's DEVASTATING.

OMG
the serious mood swings.

2010-01-09T19:40:00.001-08:00

I shouldn't feel what i should be feeling,that is;subtle hint of delirious joy- given the situation at home..eek
But i feel so..un-depressed checking out pictures of friends on facebook having so much fun and then realizing that hey,she has a blog,why not go check it out and then getting sucked into all the happiness stuffed into a single (more than that actually) cam-whoring session.

Also,recently i've been fighting against this really intense urge to just be happy and sappy and basically to explode in joy (which is so very,disturbingly perverse given the aforementioned situation..but i can't help it.I have sinned.) before freaking school starts in,gee,20 hours time?!?!?! It's like,cherishing the last few hours before you know you're gonna die sort of feeling. Although it would be,rather sad,to spend your final hours with your eyes glued.to.the.pages.of.facebook.

Andandand,can i just
a)join the Hollywood Papparazzi already?!
b)start up my own Modelling Agency,because i know just who to employ?;)
c) miraculously lose 15 kg + gain enhanced assets and freaking replace Liu Wen to be the first Asian VS model?!? CAUSE I THINK,(i think)I CAN DO BETTER?!

i think the new expectations that come with the celebratory mood for the New Year is finally,FINALLY getting to me.And I was questioning why i couldn't fit in with the younglings in my OGL clan.

2009-12-31T08:50:00.000-08:00

Call me a cynical old hag,but the only excitement i'm feeling is that i'm healthy and breathing.Wait,what New Year?

I'm such a hag of a 17 year old..

For the sake of the health of my 17 year old mind (and all the other cynical premature old hags and fogies),HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's 2010! A new decade! :) It's gonna be sappy and happy,love! Embrace positivity~!

Yes,stm i question my sanity too..

2009-12-30T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm going to welcome in the New Year with me in my PJs,slouching into the couch with my eyeballs on the TV while my mind wanders away trying to decide whether i should fight for the computer or to go back to my books.

But with my current situation (read:being sloppy and comfy at home and loving it utterly),i think i wouldn't have preferred anything else..then again,i'm sort of reconsidering my options.THE NERVE OF AN INDECISIVE PERSON.

It's THE NERVE,not MY BRAIN.

P.S i desperately need good books to read before School '10 robs me of the opportunities.(any fictional books for that matter)Recommendations!!!

2009-12-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

Christmas was
spent
silently in
shanghai.

It was a tad nostalgic;reflecting on would-have-beens and wondering how Christmas would be spent in Singapore on the tour bus.For starters, it's my first Christmas without my Dad. Well,not that it really mattered significantly because we've never regarded Christmas as an important a celebration as a family of Christians would,i guess.But i was sort of curious how my Aunt's Christmas party would turn out.Plus,it's a dry spell for pressies-for sis and i -his year. On the other hand,it might have been a blessing in disguise..(though i can't seem to fully convince myself of this just yet)with the fuss of dressing up for the party in Sg, far away like us in Shanghai.

Nevertheless,a fun trip in China!Much to my surprise,I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Although there were trying times which tested my patience with the World's Most Un-diplomatic Person,who unfortunately was my elder whom i had no choice but to be ever so painfully respectful to. My killer (i so hopefully presume) bargaining skills were honed and omgomgomg it snowed! No matter that it was just white flaky thingies that melted at once on the ground/on your hair/coat,it WAS SNOOOOW.

Just had a quick look around at the pictures on my cousins' computer,uploaded from her DSLR,and..*sigh* to say that a few unglamorous pictures of yours truly surfaced is the biggest joke of the year..i'm just praying that no collage (NO IDEAS please) would be made nor videos *stabs knife in arm* be seen out of the virtual walls of the camera folder.

I'm somehow thinking about my 18th*cringe* birthday next year,and I just reckon 2010 would be a fairly subdued year.And i hiiighly doubt plans for our first legal Ladies Night hullabaloo would be accomplished,not with Common Tests around March.

P.S Had my first manicure in my 17 years of existence on Planet Earth in China!! (i know that sounds..stupidly bimbotic when we have much other important stuff to be concerned about like starving kids etc..but-ok i feel guilt.kthxbye.)

P.S.S i have no idea how am i going to schedule the removal of my wisdom teeth(4 of them,FYI..)with the start of OGL camp in barely a week's time,followed by school.If not,i'll have to GRIN and bare it with (any)discomfort till the END of A's.omgg..

WE NEED URGENT GET-TOGETHERS SOON BEFORE(WRETCHED)SCHOOL REOPENS!!

i so contradicted myself..

2009-12-18T04:55:00.001-08:00

The past two days have been one of the most awesome days i've ever spent in the ENTIRE YEAR. First playing Rummikub,Snapjack and Taidi with my favorite primary school pals aka 6J BBQ-COMM in macs.All that maniac-tic machine-gun laughter at Snapjack..it's one of those games where i guffaw so much my poor bladder struggles to accomodate the sudden inflow-heh-of excitement that somehow triggers this unexplainable reflex of my urinary glands..and Wei Shee's extremely contagious laughter which was somehow a cross between him wheezing and i presume,him getting possessed by a banshee-like spirit DIDN'T HELP my problem. Thankfully, our seats at Macs was near the toilet so,problem solved.

HY had to leave for a movie and snapjack got a tad more insane with mental sums coming into the picture,and you thought the testing of your reflexes was confusing enough. Although we were soon chased out of macs for using poker cards (which we had made used of to entertain ourselves for like,the past 2 hours..)we went to a not-so-secret public place to finish our game of taidi.:) WHICH I WON ON MY OWN for the first time.

Next was,The First Proper Sleepover in 8 Years at Charmaine's place which was lethargically AWESOME. Soba at 12,Karaoke Party,Night Walk at 1 which got us sort of chased away from this particular street with 2 mongrels running towards and barking like,well,mad dogs..+ taking pictures with nice cars in her neighbourhood,boiling and eating raw corn on the cob at 2 with ice-cream,drinking plain water out of tequila bottles (her dad uses em to contain the family's supply of drinking water.Furthermore,we both came to the conclusion that we suck at drinking alcoholic drinks and neither could we force ourselves to guzzle horrific-tasting hard liquer down our throats.),applying make-up at home in the dead of the..morning so that we could look good in our Intensive Picture-taking Session (cam-whoring sounds..whorish.) while going about with our not-so-pleasant scrutiny of ex-boyfriends and superficial friends. We conked out at 7. I gave her my virgin stayed-up-through-the-night-till-sunrise experience. The pleasure,was worthwhile.

HAHA.
Pictures would hopefully be co-operative and upload themselves up soon.
I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS!

2009-12-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

I am running out on interesting things to write about. Not that my life is an interesting one. Although, that is actually based on your definition of an 'interesting life'.
Anyway, i think this is a pretty good start to yak on about anything that's banal.:)

Hmm,where do i start..
Ok,i'll be flying off to Shanghai on Sunday morning and will only be back on the 28th,and there goes the December holidays. I'm half-dreading,half-anticipating the new year. Dreading it because well,2010..haven't i lamented enough already. Anticipating it because,well it's The New Year,and that means a year full of good promises and other dandy good ideals that we like to think of. I am definitely going to go with the flow,and shall take everything in my stride.

This reminds me of new New Year resolutions that we're all gonna make..
again.

Anyway,Rummikub RULES. Try playing it online at rummikub.com.
No,i do not earn any commission from it.

toodulu

2009-12-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

I <3 SMOSH.

The last half of the video is hilarious imo.:)

2009-12-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

i got this from my classmate's(Liying) blog. The kitten in the video is just darnnit adorable!!
holidays so far has been way,way unproductive as i had ideally planned.10 of my econs essays awaits me,ever so faithfully.The only thing that has me side-stepping my guilt is the late night minutes i squeeze in to revise my maths. Who knew Lady Gaga would be such a good companion?

2009-12-03T01:41:00.000-08:00

i think,i think i'm confused.

Anyway,i love this song.It feels like a song which you can just close your eyes and get lost in your fantasies,be it starring in New Moon beside Edward Cullen,or not.

I think i'm starting to trivialize Twilight and the entire saga..It has become so overrated to the point that i guess i am desensitized by the image of Edward Cullen being portrayed by RPattz. It was just enough to last past Twilight.Just enough.:(

2009-12-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

I am back from England! IMO it sounds nicer than just UK.
Awesome time,it's 12.50am and i still feel freaking awake,not that waking up at 4pm today was much of a help.I think i'm gonna get a choc biscuit. It's for tea,London time.

Anyway,shopping in Oxford Street was smashin'ly good though i'm thoroughly wading in this hip-height full of regret for not spending more time at Primark.(where shoes go for like,2 pounds?!But at least i got a coat,a dress and a top for less then 50 sing dollars..).Got enough gifts for the family from the braving-through-the-crowd scenarios(somebody heard a Londoner commenting on how much this year's crowd was 'ten times worse than last year's'.),fighting deathly long checkout queues,and mad brisk-walking in the rain with our heavy paper bags.

Hostel-living was an experience,be it checking into a building in the middle of a forested area at night to the bonding between the roomies.Speaking of roomies and the entire experience,it was quite a matter of tolerance throughout the trip for a certain someone.Because all it took was a slip of tongue to ruin the friendship,but i guess i controlled it adequately well although i did mutter some un-diplomatic like words towards the end of the trip..It is quite challenging trying to find the right comment for random bodily updates of a person.
I like to believe that all is peaceful between us because well,it is.

Racism in London was more evidently prominent there than in Manchester and Haworth..We witnessed and also experienced (the subtle and sometimes the obvious ones too)racist remarks and behavior.It was truly an eye-opener and cliche as this may sound,i'm truly appreciating the harmonious living in Singapore.

Awesummm:

2009-11-27T13:16:00.000-08:00

Tapping on rare internet access on my fren's itouch.omg,net access is $2per 15mins.weather is v.cold,8 degrees and below. Got few gifts for ppl,including sis.enjoyable n fun trip so far.fish and chips overload.We can't mingle with the local youths in the hostel.will try my nest to update soon.guys here r cute!mostly.esp school boys in blazers!!all so tall and dashing!:))

2009-11-22T05:19:00.001-08:00

Alright,it's about 45 minutes before i leave for the airport.
In the end,i completed my IS Draft 1 ,that very day i spazzed out,in a span of 2 hours.
No idea if it is good enough,but i'm definitely hoping that it is.*crosses fingers*

Anyway,i caught myself praying that my buddy for the London trip wouldn't go full-on pessimistic/attitudinal on me a few times already. She'll be fun (*crosses fingers*) but frankly speaking,it isn't a consolation to listen to her displeasure/exasperation to want December to come and for the trip to be over and done with..

I've yet to make a list of stuff to get for my family and perhaps if there's a good deal of sweets or other goodies, i could possibly get for my friends too.

Truth be told,i've done the research before leaving for London.
No doubt it's not The Research we're suppose to do aka research on Tracy the painter,more of ^~*Oxford Street*~^ (WE BETTER BE HEADING THERE.)

Ok,enjoy your hols peeps.

toodles

2009-11-21T01:34:00.000-08:00

OMG i'm almost done with the packing for my UK trip,but i've
1. not done any research on the artist which we'd be visiting at the art exhibition
2. research of shops at Oxford Street not completed.
3. research for CSE IS hasn't even begun!! OMG,and the first proposal is due on the 30th?Which is when i'm returning?

2009-11-13T20:51:00.000-08:00

Didn't know they were so good ay? There's a whole lot of finesse and class compared to the present cleavage-barring industry,no?

Hmm,i think we'd only be on the same wavelength after a couple of years.Maybe that's a good thing? But we'll be there!:)

Introduction to the Independent Studies for CSE on friday was mentally-draining.The rush to find the topic that we have to choose under China,the recommended/number of books to support in research,where to get good sources,and the test that all of us would be sitting for next thursday.We're all under the control of a very pro-Maoist tutor who believes in a CCP-like order of the class. 'Getting one question wrong would result in one essay question being thrown to the class'*smirk*, He is perhaps the best,but the worst too.
Sadism, sums it up.

"What doesn't kill you,makes you stronger"
I think it'll need a lot of crossed fingers..

toodulu

2009-11-12T03:25:00.000-08:00

Today was a whirlwind of events.
Had breakfast at Sixth Ave this morning with 3/4 of HHD,attempted to master taidi,experienced mild euphoria consuming a mash-up of honey,cinnamon in/on/with bread and then a rush off to school to get our results slip.Kind taxi driver had no qualms about driving all 5 of us squashed up in his car.

Hmm,the entire class didn't move up to Year2 as one..but we're still hanging on to the glimmer of hope that we'd stay together as a class.(well,what's left of it)
Claudia's departure from PJ is depressing...even though all of us knew that day would come,it's still..sad.

On another note,I reckon the pay wouldn't be wickedly good,but i think i'll thrive being a talent/model scout.Plus,i'd enjoy scouting,like how i loved guiding. (pun intended,though in actual fact i don't really 'love' guiding..it was more of 'liking' it i guess) Maybe it's in the genes,like how my mum loves to watch Britain's Got Talent.Hur hur.

Everybody's not in the mood to go back for lessons next week.

2009-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

poop,this is insane!!

this too,betcha didn't know Ash from Pokemon had a female voice-over.

2009-11-11T08:36:00.001-08:00

I have trouble 'bonding' with my CCAmates.
Admittedly i feel like there's an obligation for me to turn up for CCA gatherings at the expense of any genuine face-busting-big-grin sort of happiness. Well,don't get me wrong, they are really nice people, and we can easily talk about exams/CCA-related..
Perhaps,we just need to 'bond' more?
Soo,should i or should i not go for the CDS gathering of a BBQ on the 1st of Jan??

I cannot wait for school to end.But i'm gonna miss claudia.:(

2009-11-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

OP is over.
Hallelujah,pi gu bao za.
Glamourous,i know.

I've been in a state of despondence recently..harping on the past, the what-ifs, the evaluation of past decisions and basically,how much i miss being a kid. I used to have this really strong aversion towards the ideal of growing up.Think, worshiping Peter Pan. Sure,it's sad and silly in its own way but i feel the guilt sometimes like how i'm betraying this ideal when i feel rather attuned to this whole growing-up thing.Yes,i'm warped like that.
Had a conversation with Claudia and we both agreed on how it sucks to have society judging you when you get older,and i couldn't help but reminisce the days when i could don my ratty old Paddington Bear shorts (from NTUC) and strut down Orchard Road in my flip-flops while at the same time not giving a hoot whether or not my behind looked big.
Gosh,i even wore a pair of batik long pants out to Heeren for Ruby Lin's (Ziwei from Huan Zhu Ge Ge) meet-and-greet-session when she was in Singapore like 6 years back?

Anyway,i hope the friction between two of my really,really good childhood friends would just disappear soon. I feel the need to laugh-till-i-pee again with you guys..:(
and i wanna have more laugh-till-i-pee sessions till we're all old and wrinkly..
*SOBFEST*

Random note: Monehh Loves Me x 61235 times
(FYI,i think i once attended one of my dad's friend's business seminar/workshop whereby we were taught to repeat 'money loves me' to build the mindset that we had the ability to earn lots of money or something along those lines.Oh,there were actions that went along with it too..)

When i use the comp,i use it damn hxc,and i love it when everybody's asleep and i have the comp to myself!!

toodulu

BFF

2009-11-04T10:34:00.001-08:00

BFF,TSF

'Smoke a pack' you said to me
knowing my answer which you kept
at the back of your jean pockets
you were enjoying the smoke
curtain that veils
so well,like the individual strands of bleached hair
on your head and the
crackly laughter of yours
you
i doubted
the strange familiar

I know the terrain,but not the destination,
the arid summers but not the scarecrows' in the field
surrounding you.
With the seeds aplanted, i know not the Rain's deal nor
The mirage that you play to stick that seal
I can only hope for the better
through your friendly haze.
you might be
the strange familiar

Ink blobs,iron ores
the ones you love unresponsive to your calls
flurry of hearts,irrational thoughts
bittersweet tie that binded us close
almost ripped apart at ten years old
i lose my way sometimes
you
know
the strange familiar

Have you branded yourself with another's race.
A lightning bolt that has lost its chase.
I hope for the better,
without losing my
faith
you
the strange familiar.

-spaige

2009-11-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

MT A'Level Paper is over.:)
But OP isn't so..it's back to 14hr school days..
Went out with 2/3 of the HHD,binged on sakae,had lots of fun; selected scents from Lucky Plaza,tried a pinoy dessert,(chiara)received a thong as Free Item from Song&Song of which we duly threw it in the bin whereupon Ruyee speculated that it 'looked dirty'(Ew)got free mask and GuJunPyo folder from Etude.
Lots of hugs and over-worked bladders today. Nevertheless,fun day despite being clothed in our uniforms the entire time.

toodulu

2009-10-30T03:07:00.000-07:00

Is it me or are you also always intrigued by the way the Chinese speak Mandarin(or any sort of language remotely related to it) in Western films?

Anyway, i just finished watching Whatever Works.The first part with the main lead talking the the audience (us/you/me/) had me hooked.Didn't know they would do it in cinematic shows,only thought it would be done in plays. Nevertheless, i can't help but feel that it brought with it an insight. It challenges societal norms, and questions you 'hey,why can't this be done if it doesn't harm anybody?'.
Well, for starters you question the absurdity,possibility,consequence etc of this..
(spoiler ahead)
Having a woman who is a mother of a 21 year old,officially sleeping in with two partners in the same home and of whom basically sharing the woman whom they both love emotionally and..physically.

Yep,its warped.Talk about being liberal.
Go watch it!But brace yourself for lots of arrogant talk and quantum mechanics-worthy-speak..

toodulu

2009-10-29T23:28:00.000-07:00

Part2 is the funniest/scariest!

Part1

Part2

2009-10-29T15:25:00.001-07:00

Had my first 12 hour sleep on a school night for the first time this year. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
It's almost like hibernation.

Anyway,thank my lucky stars,i managed to snag the comp from my dad, in our Eternal Struggle For The Computer,this morning.\m/ And he just poked his sleepy head in to enquire my purpose for using the comp so early in the morning.Need you ask??

Ok,there's this thing in class that's bugging me.
Sure,i do partake in expressing my feelings about A and yes,i was insulted/peeved(because of the way she handled our her 'invitations',which i'd explain later in all the fashion of a teenager with nothing much else to do besides school...That's sarcasm!!)when she did not invite(or did she?)a quarter of her class to her Birthday Party. And yes,i do scoff and OMGcringelaugh sometimes when the girls in class describe/mimic her exaggeratedly.

But idk,it seems like this entire thing is getting worse..and i feel so compelled to stop it especially about how i felt after reading this tweet by one of my classmates. Yeah,perhaps A's first try in poetry mightn't be good by your standards,but idk,i felt a tad sore because isn't poetry a creative expression and..well,i guess you're entitled to your opinion. This rings a bell to something from Mean Girls.It goes something like the first kind of evil people does evil stuff, while the second kind looks on at evil stuff being done.

But do you consider it Evil Stuff if its done without the knowledge of the person?
Evil is Evil.Yes..!

You do not know how bad it is.
I feel horrid.

2009-10-24T21:56:00.001-07:00

Alright, promo results have been released, and i'm glad to say that i've passed all. I doubt i've secured any A's, although i cling on to a glimmer of hope that the overall results would miraculously give me one. Nevertheless, it goes to show that when this much effort does not secure an A, it is an understatement that Year 2 would be hell.

Anyway,good food+good fun, post-promo days have been great except for the same old niggling thoughts of incomplete PW work and A'Levels MT being just around the really short corner..

I'll be attempting to stick to my plan of Calorie Incineration for these few weeks,it'll be an uphill task i must admit, but i would persist and conquer!!!!
I shall hone my badminton skills to the level of Ultimate Badminton Pro-ness and thrash annoyingly cocky pre-pubescent little twerps who are in their school badminton clubs.ARGH!!
Trekking with my aunts and uncles twice a week would hopefully incinerate enough calories to give me VS-models-worthy thighs.

This is sounding very unintelligent and superficial..

I chanced about this snippet of The Big Bang Theory at Video Ezy after breakfast at KAP today, and it is genuinely funny even without the cued canned laughter! Go watch it!

My thoughts are not organized here,and i just want to whine and go 'why am i only scrapping through GP despite solidly memorizing info on the environment for the first time for a paper and not.. at least pass more?(than just by scrapping through it)'

These few days have just reinforced my belief that it is best if we could just take a break from all this drama and just escape from it all in another country...

Any though-provoking books to recommend?

'Sheldon do you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything and you were acting like an obnoxious,giant dictator?'
'i thought we were going to be gentle with him?'
'that's why i added the "tator".'

-TBBT

2009-10-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

Fireflies by Owl City never fails to put me in a good mood.I think electro-pop is settling itself rather comfortably in the preference section of my music genre library.
Then again, have you heard Britney Spear's 3? It.is.annoyingly.good. Yes,i'm sucked back into the vortex of '..Britney,bitch.' (that's what she said at the start of Gimme More,not me)

I'm listening to trashy American music.Can't help it,am guilty as charged.Check out Paradiso Girls-Patron Tequila. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wfVMZ4CMCE I think they have the potential of becoming the next Pussycat Dolls.I love that short-haired girl!

My body is still aching from the entire day of floor ball for inter-house games..
It feels surreal reading fiction books again,and there is this slight amazement to realize that you're reading and not studying/memorizing..

www.twitter.com/lueylou

P.S DYK,i know of 7 Pei Juns' including myself? And i thought it was a name only my parents' made up

toodulu

2009-10-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hmm..

DJ class was really fun,my classmate sandy was my fellow competitor on the turntable.
Our instructor was DJ KoFlow,v.impressive resume. He told us that DJ Tiesto actually made a million in a day for his sell-out concern.*big grins*

Watched The September Issue just this evening with Charmaine.Thankfully the documentary wasn't as boring as i expected it to be,rather well-filmed i might add.

PW responsibilities have started bearing down on us..:(

Toodulu

2009-10-11T03:58:00.000-07:00

This is,unique.

2009-10-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

Firstly,i am SO loving post-promo days.*shivers down spine*
I'll be allowing myself to bask in these few precious days of guilt-free days without any school related thoughts niggling their way through my mind. Sad to say, it's all going to come crashing back down once again after the entire post-promos program(Hel~lo DJ PJ!) is over,there's effing PW to be rushed; interviews,email correspondence with strangers,mass surveys, assessment of surveys, power point madness,oral presentation AND THEN MOTHER TONGUE A's.
MOTHER BUMMER.. THAT ASIDE

Secondly,i've not been updating my lj account cause i want my cousin's account to be logged in for me to view other ljs.

Anyway,*high-pitch squeal*vid~eo vo~mit!I Don't Freaking Care.(IDFC)
If you're like me and you've ended your exams,this is so The Song to groove to,andandand it's the original video! I Cannot Believe It.(ICBI)<--i shall make my own acronyms from now on,since i can never catch up to the annoying ones others are CONSTANTLY freaking inventing.(M-I-N-D-L-E-S-S-L-Y)

#1.

#2. I'm a Chingstahh.
.
.
.
.
.
.

On a another note,I want to be an effectively bilingual person,and a good role model would be Glenda Chong the mediacorp newscaster.*thumbs-up* I would thereby enunciate my Chinese and English pronunciation and do my country proud. You should too.

We had this chinese compre passage that day for the mother tongue paper,and if the purpose of it was to inspire and encourage us to 'let our potential shine through' cause it's not the brand name but the brand name of yourself which you create,it has definitely achieved its purpose. *cringe* but i mean what i say. I can't help it really,it's just a very awkward-in-between-childhood-adulthood-phase whereby you can't help but *cringe* at cliches and sensible/good/heart-warming/coming-from-the-bottom-of-the-heart good advice. I think i need new vocabulary,the over usage of hyphens is disconcerting.

HXC SWIMMING!BUSTING THAT (SKINNY) A*S.HELLO VS.MY HEIGHT IS ELIGIBLE FOR IT. OK,fine i just need 0.07cm. Gimme,3/5/6 years more.kidding!

seeing chiara soon!

#3.(who said it was over?!)
HOW old is she?!? 15,16? I foresee another Britney down the road..
like the hair nevertheless

toodulu

2009-10-08T05:54:00.001-07:00

okay,Promos are officially over!
I did my best and the questions that i predicted for essays came out and with lady luck on my side,i hope everything will be fine and dandy.
Went to town with claud and chiara,a true experience getting lost in ion for more than once.It's not THAT big,but neither is it small nor shopper-friendly. Perhaps,with more time it'd be? Nevertheless, the food level was da bomb and i finally tried the japanese swiss roll Ross from 98.7fm was raving and raving about. She said something along the lines that it was seriously the best thing one can ever eat,if one were to ever consume a swiss roll. AND,it was indeed good.It has the melt-in-your-mouth novelty, although the price is pretty steep for a roll of swiss roll.i.e $15 for one.

There's also this cute popcorn stall,which sells quite a variety of popcorn flavors ranging from savoury to sweet;cheddar cheese to green apple. (the butterscotch one is nicee). Reached home earlier than the time i come back from night study,which is quite warped because it's ironic..and strange.

On another note,check out this video. Another reason why i ought to save enough money to migrate to America if i were to get too sick of the entire 'ideal' asian female thing.
But TO BE ADVISED
#1 the person in the video,and the same one who uploaded this has a username of 'fatboygetdown' (which sort of inspires me to perhaps,gain publicity-cause bad publicity is still publicity- and to quickly set up a blog to earn money from adverts if i were to...ok CHOY.)

#2 1:25 and 2:25 is a..tad cringe-worthy/shrivel-into-seat kinda feeling imo

#3 The first comment of the video reads:
"Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way as you judge others" mathew 7
(skip the -boring-part below if u do not want to read my justification-which i can't help but do so cause i feel a tad guilty- for my actions)
I believe in the above,and it cannot be said that i'm judging him cause to judge somebody is to have opinions of the other party of which you infer from with inadequate knowledge.However,since the person thinks of himself as 'fatboy' i shan't be a hypocrite to say that he is skinny. Cause that would be a lie.And a sin too.
I'm just..clarifying my thoughts because,since he has uploaded this video as a form of entertainment i may share this with you guys for the same purpose too,right?

so,here goes
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

OMG,i just caught one of his other video titled 'I'm Not Fat I'm Skinny'.Basically he repeats the title of the video continuously and yells out loud that he's actually a size 2 model and all the while vigorously scribbling markers on his face..It is disturbing,i promise you. But i think it's a joke,as in it's purposefully done so to idk,attract viewership?

toodulu

2009-10-07T03:24:00.000-07:00

i sort of miss the days when i would watch Bollywood films on Vasantham channel every Sunday without fail (cause there's english subtitles and even my mum liked watching them,but my paternal grandma was the hardcore Bollywood film lover in the family),but now that they no longer have it on that channel and schoolwork has invaded my Sundays (i daresay,fortunately so to an extent),the last hindi film i caught was like..4 years back?

But wouldn't you agree that they are such great sources of escapism,beautiful scenery,boisterous dancing and sappy romance all put together?

Ok,i'm turning into Grandma.

P.S last Lit paper tomorrow!:)
toodulu

2009-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

ok,DY,he seriously reminds me of you especially with his shimmying.(compliment,by my definition) Perhaps,10 or 20 years down the road? :D

2009-10-03T19:23:00.001-07:00

Goodness Gracious Me

i think i have an identity crisis..
like the entire i-don't-know-where-i-belong ( ~where i keep my heart and soul..~) shizwhick. I get this sometimes..

Sometimes i feel vulnerable having no stand at all.So malleable..Like if an evil dictator indoctrinated me,i doubt i'll last long in the fight for my beliefs.I can already imagine this internal Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde struggle. And then i'll just turn into Frankenstein.
This reminds me of 'Kaliningrad oblast in the south' for CSE.( of which i have so conveniently forgotten the next line for my essay.)

All my papers have ended except for another Lit paper.CSE was a new experience,answering 3 essay questions in a span of 2 1/2 hours. hxc

.
There was once a girl who knew she was going to die
she did whatever she want
she did whatever she liked
she played hopscotch on her brother's bike
did cartwheels and barrista-ed on the side
swam with the piranhas and danced in the rain
swung on ropes with a tattoo of change
she made friends with the natives of the land
ostracized beings with sand grains in their hair
skipping past the snowstorm jumping right into the sea

she shimmied past her teachers
she shimmied past her folks
she shimmied past the jellyfish
which inspired her this joke
they said of a girl who did weird things
unafraid of death knocking on her shins
things that you never do in this society or game
in this struggling world Insane Insane
little girl they called her that
yet they forgive her so
for they knew she would fight back
for the daisies she would soon push
the bucket she would soon kick
bore in their mind,This Sick Kid

Unknown to them This Sick Kid lived
to a ripe old age with finicky needs
The old lady said with a chuckle of gone yore
well don't we all know that life is a lore
death beseeches us throughout this journey
a matter of time
don't be sad nor sorry
tell the world that the Reaper seeks
embrace the fact and your Life shan't be meek

-spaige
.

Hope you guys liked that.:)

2009-10-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.softblow.org/

Weixu your lit teacher's work is in there.I think it's really nice.:) Y'know,idk if it's me or what but after being exposed to CAD poems,i catch myself constantly spotting and analyzing(if there is)sexual connotations involved. This is very bad. My innocence is waning. Especially after this recent but very discreet,at the same time, innocence-destructing happening in school concerning pictures..

Econs paper is over.What i studied came out,so it was a relief.
These few days have been pretty intense, 10 hrs of library revision time. Truly a test of bladder power in freezing library. Then again,it's not how much you revise but how much it goes in. That said, who knows how much time one needs to digest the material except for one. Ok,this is all very confucian-speak. My grammar is failing me and so is my eyesight. This is very bad. Ok,positivity positivity.

Wrote a simple poem,(wait till you see my sambal blachan one)(don't laugh.ok,you may coz i'm kidding) about how life has been so far
/
"Hey honey, you have them keys.
Open up the door now with them keys"
Pick up the phone now,i can't but study
Close your mouth now,i cannot stop to listen
Run along now,i have a schedule to keep
Sign this yourself now,i can't but seethe
Hush now,i have to sleep

Well sleep now,the wake would be
bright and early.

"Key in the lock now. Key in the lock now.
But you have changed them from me "
/

Good night world.
Onward math and lit and CSE.
practice analysis and memory work.

P.S UDDERS is one of the bestest best local ice-cream shop everr. Go try their Mao Shan Wang-flavoured ice-cream and their liquor-based ones. *heaven*

P.S.S i love the Huo Hu Dies (Fiery Butterflies)in class.My 7 girl pals with our very chinese-inspired,nonsensical group *cringe* name.A-joke-turned-convenient-way-of-addressing-all-of-us courtesy of Chiara Ang aka Zhiqi who thought of it.

P.S.S.S is it normal to hear the creaking of your neighbour's (above your unit)doors,cause i just heard mine..for the 2nd time. And my lethargy has numbed any ounce of fear. OK,i take back what i've said..

2009-09-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

oh good Lord, THIS IS HILARIIIOOUS!!But i'll pray that his kids get a normal/healthy childhood,or at least the normality one can grow up in in America. This can only happen in the US man.

2009-09-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

I couldn't keep in the giggles.. It isn't so much the unique physique of the dancer but so much more so that he's a guy doing female dance moves. That well. It reminds me of Deyi dancing.
It's a compliment.
This video reminds to save enough money for an air ticket to the US,where i'll be accepted in society and not discriminated by if i turn obese. Who knows,i might even be considered healthy in the US if i'm Asian-obese. Helloo Hollywood.

And so is my habit of reading bad blogs-like ria's which often personifies her female anatomical functions with relation to her everyday life etc-that are(the blogs) entertaining. And the only moral saving grace is the good english,if you think about it. Nevertheless, entertaining entertaining entertaining.

A Form of Positive Externalities:
I shall hereby depart a little form of education to You.( I reckon i need new substitutes for 'Anyway',and so thought i might as well do a little of Think,Pair,Share)

Main Entry: anyway
Part of Speech: adverb
Definition: by any means
Synonyms:
anyhow, at all, at any rate, ever, however, in any case, in any event, in any manner, nevertheless, once
Notes: anyway is correct if you mean 'in any case'; otherwise, use any way

Anyhow, i'm going to LONDON. Lun Dun ( i know nuts about changing my comp's font to chinese...but i do know where Caps Lock is) FOR LIT TRIP! 15 HOURS FLIGHT!:) GOING TO MEET MY FAV LEZZI POET! MY UPPER LIP WOULD BE SO STIFF WHEN I COME BACK THAT I'LL HAVE A NATURAL POUT! KEIRA KNIGHTLY!

(ok,talking about my lips after 'lezzi poet' sounds wrong,so,disclaimer: stiff upper lip = brit accent)
LEONA LEWIS'S COUNTRY.I CAN'T WAIT TO GO GOOGLE MORE INFO ABOUT LONDON. And then AVON POETRY WORKSHOP! *crossesfingers* I hope i'll still be able to qualify for it since i'll be missing a day of it due to London Trip.

This is SUCHA messy post.Whatever Gitches!(i'm going to use less of B's and more G's instead.I attempted to explain why, but i decided against it. Sounded too much like a self-controlled freak of a feminist.)

To my dearest 6J BBQ Comm/BAOQIAN/PRO-MUGGERPEOPLE/GITCHY friends whom we've sung Diva-Ballads at the top of our lungs using YouTube Karaoke videos,you people inspire me to work hard and excel. ~So tonight, i'll celebrate my loooove for yooou~

In the future,I'll build schools in poor countries and i'll make sure i'll build a karaoke room(with built-in water coolers for their parched throats after singing,and to satisfy their basic need for survival in the harsh summers of Africa when the temperature can reach 40 degree Celsius a ) in every school and so shall name that room in YOUR honour. I'll also fund and groom potential Divas minus the diva behaviors. E.g like how Mariah Carey would demand to have puppies provided for her to play with while she's doing her make-up or something..

Ok,i shall do a lil bit of math and then read some GP notes,and then fitness date with Charmaine in 5hrs time.i can wake up in time,yes i can.

OMG,tomorrow's SATURDAY.<3<3<3

toodulu

2009-09-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

CHECK OUT HIS BODY!! JACOBBB! Knew you were hot all along!
I saw your potential when you were acting as Sharkboy.*BIGGRINS*

2009-09-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

I think,i'm going to pursue my interest and see where it leads me to..
I will do my best to ignore the Voices.(cheesy cryptic.)
Lit London trip isn't confirmed..i hope i'm safe from the interviews and that i'm through. Meanwhile, i'm just afraid that by the time the results are out, the deadlines to sign up for the other trips would have long been overdue . That aside, positivity positivity and more positivity.

Promos is less than 2 weeks away.
My first revision of econs is done, but based on what Ms Wong has said, there should be a second round. So i reckon i'll start that tomorrow.
Which reminds me, despite our 'unforgivable results'(as coined by the abovementioned tutor) for our econs case studies, (yet again) Ms Wong announced to the class that she did a reflection and then proceeded to give out little notes of encouragement for the promos, to everyone of us. I knew SS nearly teared,cause it really was a very sweet gesture. Cue: AWW And you really feel obligated to make her proud..

My dosage of fiction books have been..all about China.
There is a entirely non-political/racial link to the previous sentence, but i'm afraid of speaking like Ms Ris Low.
I laughed about her interview again while discussing the news over dinner with my cousin..
I'm afraid there'll be kharma. I thought there was a limit to how much you could laugh about 'zebra preens' and the over emphasis of 'ME',but i thought otherwise. I'm sincerely not mocking her here,merely stating what i have thought. Especially, that tinge of guilt.

I don't find it funny here and now though.Maybe,cause i'm sleep-deprived in a for-no-valid-academic-reason kind of way.
I realised that i tend to use far too many I's in my blog post whenever i attempt to post after a few days/weeks(?) of absence in blogosphere. This is not comforting. I'm morphing into a ego-centric male species a la Carol Ann Duffy's intepretation in Education for Leisure. WIN.

It's already 9 solid months of JC life,and i still cannot wave the Off Centre text away..seeing how maniac-tic people can photocopy and print handouts like there is an (cliche ahead) infinite resource of trees for us to make paper with..Vinod's rant at the Guy He Asked For Directions To The LT that went along the lines of 'go to the beach,go against the education system,live your life' Only to be scolded 'Siow' and of which at the end of the play,Vinod ends up committing suicide.

DYK,i once had this habit of testing how far i could toe my boundaries before panicking to prepare for something major which i should have started preparing for much earlier? It was an atrocious habit which i fear would come back again..
like what Ms Lau would have said 'CHOYGAHLEYYY'..

i'm going to read HY and Angelababy's blog religiously from now onwards to ace my MT A'Levels!

JY.

toodulu

2009-09-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

i like this
'WE ARE ALL IN THE GUTTER, BUT SOME OF US LOOK AT THE STARS.'
taken from http://fuckyeahhappy.tumblr.com

It's 2.44am.I'm glad that i had a 6hr long 'nap'.I mean, what's the point of completing homework when you're dozing off half the time.(i surrendered myself to The Bed after noticing the small puddle of drool on my econs essay.Heh.) So,at least i'm awake and alert now doing homework, with the com on and Einstein Dream softly playing in the background. I heard that listening to pieces of music from the Baroque era is very good aid for concentration. Personally,i think it's true.

Alright,back to homework.

Spot the stars.